a little less, so there is more

More Stuff Happening

2011-11-02T10:02:00.000-07:00

My last bulletin cover:

It’s been one of those weeks. It’s been a week where God has broken through the lies I was listening to and reminding me to guard myself with His truth, His word. I was “winging” it and it wasn’t working. I was retreating to old patterns when I’ve been called to live in victory. So I turn to the Truth, the Word. I’m again blown away and by the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. I am overwhelmed as He patiently loves me through my fickleness. Then Thursday I get two phone calls. One is that my cousin, who is a 38yr old father of three with adrenal carcinoma, is at home waiting for hospice to arrive and assist him in his last days. Then there is another call that our beloved PW (Pastor Wayne) is in the hospital struggling for his life. What? And yet because has been preparing me all week I have peace. Yes, my heart hurts, I am sad, I weep, but I have peace. These are two men that know our precious God and He knows them even more. I believe God is teaching me repeatedly about the comfort His sovereignty brings. On Wednesday there was a song that kept running through my head, a song that I know is dear to the hearts of the body of believers. I know that it was another way God was preparing me for the news I received Thursday. Let’s encourage each other to continue to trust the Almighty Omnipotent God, who has all things in His hands for the good of those who love him. And, oh, how we love Him.

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name



Update:
This was written last week, and Sunday morning I received the call that my
cousin Bill had passed away. Pray for his wife, kids, sibling, parents, all that
knew and loved him. I can't pretend that Bill and I were super close.
But these things I knew of him:

He was very smart
He was funny
If I ever heard him complain (which was rare) he did it w/ a smile on his face or in a joking manner
He loved his wife. I'm sure they weren't perfect but from my view I could tell they were a team. I never heard him put her down.
He loved his kids. He would be excited about what they were doing and what he did with them, not afraid to boast about their accomplishments, or their character.
I had no doubt that if I was ever in a pickle I could call him, He was loyal
He was a great guy, loved by many.

Love you Bill. See you soon.

Stuff Happens

2011-08-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

My most recent bulletin cover...

Sometimes stuff happens. Stuff that you never thought would happen to you, or your family. This stuff is hard, and complicated and it wears you out. You try to fix it, make it better, knock sense into people with your words. Nothing works because you are not God. Instead you become exhausted, drained, worn out. It was never yours to fix. You have to learn this the hard way of course. But, God is full of grace, always there, using every moment to bring healing in His own perfect way. He can be firm, but oh, so gentle, as He reminds us.....

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

The Message

Let’s take a nap in His lap today...shall we? In fact...I think I just might stay there.

Grateful In All

2011-06-22T19:52:00.001-07:00

This was originally written for my church bulletin cover...

“Lion on a leash." That is what Ann Voskamp calls Satan in her book One Thousand Gifts. I first heard of her through her blog where I saw her list. Her ongoing list of things to be thankful for. So I started one too. Now and then I remember the list and I meditate on the little and the big things in my life that I can be thankful for and jot them down. I recently started reading her book and was reminded that a life fully lived is not just thankful in the moments of wiggly baby toes, morning grass adorned with dew drops, and ice cream cones. I thought I knew this. Yes...of course we are to be thankful in all things. God uses all things for our good (Romans 8:28), so no matter how hard it is we thank Him and bless His name just like the song says.
Yet when it happens, what do I do? Do I pout? Often I do. Don’t get me wrong. There are times when hard things have happened and I have felt the blanket of the Lord wrap around me and hold me while I mourned and He never gave me a chance to pout. Then there are times where something minor happens that throws me for a loop and I’m pouting and wondering “why me?” as if I should be living a life free of hurt. That wouldn’t be a full life though. Life in itself is full of so many different experiences and how we deal
with them is up to us. When the bad comes am I thankful that though Satan is a fierce lion, he is still on a leash? No matter how much he tries, he can only
roar and perhaps scratch me from time to time, but his leash keeps him from
devouring what belongs to Christ. Am I thankful for the chance to grow closer to and stronger in Jesus? Allow me to continue my list here, finding something to be thankful for in a few of the harder things....

81.
Entangled in someone’s gossip....reminds me to hold my own tongue

82.
Friend claims to no longer believe in God.....my own assurance of faith is challenged and now stronger than ever

83.
Miscarriage.....chance to experience the Love and comfort of Jesus in a new amazing way

84.
Death of family friend...... thankful for time w/ her, reminder that life here is but a breath

85.
Whining children...reminded that I must sound that way to God sometimes

86.
Situation not going my way.....chance to break free from selfishness

87.
Exhausted..... this means that I have a life blessed with good things and people to wear me out

88.
Never ending to do list.... opportunity to serve

89.
Lonely times....moments to just be with the Lord

90.
The unknown.... the adventure.

Grateful

2011-06-13T05:19:00.000-07:00

61. kids who can pour their own cereal

62. school out for the summer

63. reminders that my life is cake (thus the list to keep me in check!)

64. baby toes

65. summer breeze

66. happy birds

67. chance meetings w/ old friends

68. simplifying

69. sharing hand me downs

70. cool summer mornings

71. sister reading to little brother

72. surviving yard sales

73. air conditioning (this might be a repeat)

74. libraries

75. blogging mamas

76. phone chats with dad

77. generous parents

78. daughter's curls

79. washing machine's

80. grace

Confessions...

2011-06-13T05:09:00.000-07:00

...of a failed blogger. Seriously! How hard is it to get on here and bare your soul? I've tried different things to motivate me on here. Maintaining consistency is often my downfall. Usually my people pleasing nature trumps the previous mentioned flaw, but since I don't know if anyone really reads this my pleasing side has no motivation. Of course I need to acknowledge the four kids I am a mother to and all the other household/wifely duties and baring my soul falls down on the list. But I will NOT give up! I will still visit this place, try new 30 day "fill in the blank" challenges and continue my list of things I'm grateful for.

Soul exposures of the day....

Listened to a radio program today where a woman reminded me that in order to be more in tuned to the Spirit's discernment I need to walk so much closer with my Lord. I let this fall by the wayside to easily. I talk to Him on and off all the time, but I treat this relationship to casually. Time for a change.
She also reminded me that it's not about us loving God, but that He's crazy in love with us. So freeing as I know I fail in my expression of love to Him constantly. His love overflows all my gaps.

It's been way too long....

2011-02-21T02:02:00.000-08:00

46. The sun shining through my car windows, warming my face.

47. 60 + degree weather in February

48. Friends giving birth to healthy babies

49. Hearing of women pumping their own breast milk for the new baby of a friend with breast cancer

50. Little boys who yell “Merry Christmas!” at 6:30 am in February

51. The reminder of complete acceptance by God

52. Dark chocolate truffles

53. Books

54. The Internet for maintaining relationships with my dear ones

55. Zumba!

56. God’s timing

57. My man and I being on the same page

58. Tiny greens peeking through the dirt...signs of spring!

59. Coffee

60. Flip Flops

Happy New Year

2011-01-04T10:24:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to say it. I love to be loved. My number one love language is people showering me with kind words, telling me how great they think I am. It's how I'm made. I do believe this and have mostly come to accept it. But then someone shares a link on facebook to this post by Donald Miller and I say "ouch". I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I usually have a general hope for the year like losing weight or reading my Bible more, etc. Instead I try to focus on some area where I really feel God challenging me to grow. Past examples would be embracing the journey/process of life, learning to trust God in all things, and living in humility. I do not have any of these down pat, but I feel like I've come to a place where I can remember them and apply during or quite often after a situation presents itself. Either way I am constantly reminded that I am a work in progress, ever learning and growing under the care of my savior who loves me. But then I read that and wonder what to do with it. I suppose it goes filed under my humility lesson? Or perhaps a new file that says "God is my source of Love". This year I'm adding that to the list of growth focus. I want to learn to feel satisfied in God's love and forgiveness instead of seeking the approval and praise of man. To be able to praise Him for all things as He is sovereign, to have a Christ filled perspective, a truly eternal mindset. Here's to it.

Room for more....

2010-12-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

I was looking at some pictures I took of the kids when trying to get that prefect Christmas card. When I looked at one of the pictures I thought,"someone is missing." What? I have four kids. I do not want to be pregnant again. But for some reason the picture didn't look full enough for me. There could easily be a logical explanation for this. My kids have lots of cousins and perhaps I was mentally comparing my little group shot to a group shot of them and their cousins. Or perhaps in my need to clutter up everything I thought there was too much space around them and the frame simply needed to be zoomed in closer. Then I thought that I might be reminded that there is a baby that will never be there due to the miscarriage that I had in April 2009. Perhaps, it's another way that the Lord is showing me that there is always room for one more as he keeps tapping my heart door open to the possibility of adoption. I think that's it. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It also scares the badoozles out of me. The idea of having another child to take care of and another heart to train overwhelms me. Fear of failure, selfishness, learning to trust God in all things; these are just some of the reasons that I struggle with this. But then you see things like this. Hear stories like this or this and wonder how you cannot be a part of something so close to God's heart. I don't know. I don't know. I went bungee jumping once and I started to freak out inside as I went up on the platform that rose until it was time to leap. I was freaking out and yet I wanted it so bad. I did it and it was the most amazing feeling to free fall and soar through the air the whole while knowing that I was secured to something and not going to get hurt. I've been told and experienced that there is nothing so great as knowing you are where God wants you to be. I feel like adoption or foster care or something along those lines is a bungee jump that freaks me out, but I know the result could be amazing if it's what He has for us. We shall see, but He already knows.

*not me in the photo

Grateful

2010-11-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

32. Health

33. Going to CA in 17 days

34. Hubby helping out extra without me asking

35. Encouraging notes

36. My daughter let me nap with her blanket yesterday

37. Soft heads on babies

38. Money to do some Christmas shopping

39. Sunshine (this may appear on my list more than once!)

40. Honesty

41. Free turkey

42. My kid's amazing teachers

43. Able to breastfeed (even though it hurts like the dickens right now!)

44. Abundance

45. My SIL's

Grateful

2010-11-22T12:31:00.000-08:00

I feel kind of sad that it's been so long since I've done this...but of course this blog is used to being neglected. I've been thinking about my casual complaints. You know the complaints about everyday annoyances that in the grand scheme of life really aren't that bad. However, the antitheses of the source of my annoyance would be awful...does that make sense? I'll start my thankfulness list and you'll see what I mean....

- I HATE it when I lose pressure while taking a shower or the water goes cold
26. Running water
-I wish my stomach fat would magically disappear
27. Food in my tummy
-My 6month old's teeth are not so cute when he's nursing
28. a healthy, growing, beautiful little boy
-We only have one toilet for this family of 6
29. a flushing toilet
- The paint peels off the walls of this ancient house, and no matter how much you clean, it will never look fresh and clean
30. a sturdy home to protect us from the cold
-Sometimes I just want to stay home on Sunday and snuggle on the couch
31. a country where I am free to worship Who and how I choose.

2010-11-19T18:40:00.000-08:00

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

By Maya Angelo

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'' I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!'

Dare you to watch this.

2010-11-16T20:30:00.000-08:00

Overcome

2010-10-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

Honestly, when I first saw this video that my friend sent me I was mostly excited about the Lite Brite. I LOVED my Lite Brite. I thought the video was extremely creative, I appreciate stop motion animation, etc. But that was it. Then someone else asked me what the big deal was and I listened to/watched it again.....and again and again. I love that He has overcome anything that I feel overcome by. Small or large, petty or or serious trial, Jesus has already overcome it and then I am overcome with His victory, His love.

Watch again and read the words.

Send me a sign
A hint, a whisper
Throw me a line
'Cause I am listening
Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me to life
'Cause I am fading

(surround me)
The rush of angels' wings

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

You sent a sign
A hint, a whisper
Human divine
Heaven is listening
Death laid love quiet
Yet in the night a stirring

(all around )
The rush of angels

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Come for us
Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Has come

Shine your light so all can see it
Lift it up cause the whole world needs it
Love's come down what joy to hear it
He has overcome
He has overcome

thanks suz!

*if 1/3 or so of the video screen is cut off go here to watch

2010-10-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets an unwanted song in their head. Lately there have been a couple of radio hits that have clung to my brain and the chorus will repeat itself over and over again. Grrrr. These aren’t songs that I like or listen to, but all it takes is one little reminder of it and BAM, it’s stuck there. Once I had a friend that said he sings the smurf song to get rid of the unwanted tunes...you know...la la lalalala la lala la la. He said it was like Teflon, it didn’t stick. It worked. However since then I’ve tried another song.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word.

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know thus saith the Lord.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more.

This song has been such a great comfort and reminder for me. It reminds me to fill my head with His truth, and to believe it. To live like I believe it. Not just sing it in my head, but to walk it out loud. Does my life prove His faithfulness to others? Am I giving Him the credit for all that is due? Why don’t I trust Him more? Why don’t I trust Him first instead of calling a friend or ignoring my problem and watching TV or reading a book?

We also sing the song that says “He is jealous for me”. In my Beth Moore Breaking Free homework is says that “Godly jealousy is to be jealous for someone for her highest good”. Let’s listen to what we are singing, and see if it is true to our lives, or just words. If He is for my highest good, and if He is a God who keeps his promises, than it truly is sweet to trust in Jesus.

National Coffee Day

2010-09-29T08:19:00.000-07:00

I'm not back on caffeine because I'm still breastfeeding, but I like my coffee for the taste. I like it black. Oh yes. I also enjoy a good latte or mocha or other flavored fun treat, but in the morning...black.

In honor of National Coffee Day, enjoy yourself a cup of joe and if at all possible go fair trade. There are so many options out there and it's another way to do our tiny parts that will add up to something big.

Ways to give and get your coffee too!

Land of a Thousand Hills

Equal Exchange

Delicious Peace

Fair Trad Coffee Co.

Keurig

Gratefulness

2010-09-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

I keep telling myself to get on here before Monday comes around....but alas, here we are.

21. Rainy days that mean hubby stays home!
22. Libraries
23. Babies that sleep all night.
24. Church family
25. Humbling moments

Gratefulness

2010-09-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

9. School buses

10. Beth Moore

11. Fall Weather that is still warm enough for shorts and short sleeves and bare feet

12. Health

13. Old saints rejoicing in heaven (RIP Elizabeth Frye)

14. Upcoming family camping night

15. Days w/ nothing to do (haven't had one in a while)

16. My sewing machine.

17. People who adopt.

18. Sunday school teachers and nusery workers

19. God's gentle guidance

20. Fulfilled scripture

Gratefulness

2010-09-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

Let us not lost heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9

As things have just been more challenging on the mom front lately I have been clinging to this verse. I have been reminded that I am not perfect. Sometimes I forget that. I never actually think or say that I am, but I forget that I'm not.

I also keep neglecting this blog. But does anyone read it? I know, I know, that's not the point, but dad gummet I'm feeling needy so comment already! Yes, I'm whining. But to compensate for the neediness and whining I'm going to start my expression of gratefulness. Though I only have time for a few, need to get on dinner. To find out more about it click HERE. (thanks Deanna for introducing me to this.)

1. My God

2. That He keeps His promise and has held onto me at all times, especially when I have days/weeks as of late.

3. My husband...for the same reasons.

4. My children for learning along with me.

5. That my fourth child is the easiest baby in the world.

6. The BEAutiful weather

7. Friends who call at the right time.

8. Blue skies.

moms

2010-09-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

Refinement

2010-07-07T16:27:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading a book called Sacred Parenting, by Gary Thomas. The book talks about how God uses our children to shape our souls draw us near to Him, or in other words, He uses them to refine us. Being a mother of four little ones, this book fits right in to my season of life. It has had me thinking that everything we face in life could be looked at with that point of view.

When the Bible speaks of refinement it is usually in reference to fire or heat. (Perhaps the rest of you have had heat on your mind this week too?) The Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as:

1: to free (as metal, sugar, or oil) from impurities or unwanted material
2: to free from moral imperfection
3: to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
4: to reduce in vigor or intensity
5: to free from what is coarse, vulgar, or uncouth

I love how even though the refining process is usually not a comfortable one, the word “free” is part of the result. Free from impurities, from what is vulgar, from imperfections. God cannot be associated with sin. Yet He still takes us as sinners and refines us to perfection so we can spend eternity with Him. How I long for that day when I will be in paradise with Him and completely free of anything that has hindered me on this earth in my flesh. But until then I hope to look at each situation in my life as a way to be drawn closer to my Lord. Ask your self this week...what is God using to refine me? ...children, job, relationships, financial struggles, etc. And after we ask that we can take comfort in the promise that He is using it for our good and His Glory.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

HE LIVES!

2010-04-04T05:56:00.000-07:00

I serve a risen Saviour,
He's in the world today;
I know that He is living,
Whatever men may say;
I see His hand of mercy,
I hear His voice of cheer,
And just the time I need Him
He's always near.

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives
today!
He walks with me and He talks with me
Along life's narrow way.
He lives, He live, salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives:
He lives within my heart.

In all the world around me
I see His loving care,
And tho my heart grows weary
I never will despair;
I know that He is leading
Thro' all the stormy blast,
The day of His appearing
Will come at last.

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christian,
Lift up your voice and sing
Eternal hallelujahs
To Jesus Christ the King!
The hope of all who seek Him,
The help of all who find,
None other is so loving,
So good and kind.

letting go of the pb eggs

2010-04-03T05:47:00.000-07:00

I've received 3 Easter cards. All from people on my side of the family. I don't' send Easter cards. I don't send any card except for birthdays and Christmas. However, Easter is the biggest deal. Without Easter all the other holidays wouldn't really matter. So why don't we send cards at Easter? I have been trying to do more with my children each year as they grow and learn. They know that Easter is about Jesus and not chocolate and eggs and bunnies or those awful peeps. (sorry to you peep lovers out there, but ick) My daughter told me that she told a girl on her bus about Easter and Jesus because the girl "didn't know about it." This makes me feel warm and fuzzy. That is probably the best way to celebrate Easter, telling others what it's really about. I'm thankful my 6 year old reminded me of this. I need to be challenged with the following question: if there were no more peanut butter eggs (my fave) at Easter, would I really be okay with that? I think so. I know so.

George Muller

2010-03-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

To start I want to say that sometimes I don't know why I keep this blog. I started it as a way to keep myself journaling, an outlet for writing and honesty. But when I think of something to write or share I'm not here at my computer and when I do get here it's gone. Then there are times I just don't want to be vulnerable, or I wonder if there is a point since I don't know who/if anyone is reading this, but then should it matter if anyone is reading it and then if someone is reading I can let that dictate my thoughts and then nothing is posted for months and this blog ends up on the floor lying in a fetal position. How's that for a run on sentence?

Anywhootie, that had nothing to do with George Muller. The rest of what I share will. I just finished reading his autobiography. What faith that man had. Reading his accounts of prayer and God's faithfulness to Muller's ministry has challenged the way I think about God and more specifically prayer. Muller prayed in a way where he expected God to answer. If they needed money for bills or food, etc. he didn't pray and wonder if God would provide. He would only wonder when. He was willing to live on the edge if that meant that God could be glorified through it. He saw that kingdom work as most important in life and he lived that way. I was going to quote some favorite passages but looking back I realized I would end up copying the entire book. Go read it for yourself. I dare you to not be changed.

Another book to rock your world (read this fall/winter) ........ Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. Read it. Now.

another way to put yourself in a box

2010-02-18T11:08:00.000-08:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tries to figure you out and box in the wonderfully diverse personality God gave you. One of the things I love to do is figure people out and put them in a box. Okay, I'm not really a "boxer" per say, but I do love learning about those I love and what makes them tick and tock.

So personality quizzes are really awful for what I just talked about but at the same time I'm a sucker for them. So if you have always wondered what your color personality is then it's your lucky day! Go Here to find out.

I thought my result was unexpected...at least the actual color.

Black is your color.

Nothing can stand between you and your demand for a calm environment. To be free of conflict and disagreement is the only way to live. In fact, it’s this philosophy that probably allows you to be comfortable in conditions that would normally bother others. Your ability to focus is undisputed, and while you enjoy attention, you still have problems understanding how to handle it. No other color out lives by the golden rule as much as you do.

What was your result?

Bible in 90days (ish)

2010-02-16T17:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, I needed to add the "ish" as I'm a bit behind. I'm okay with that. I just started Psalms today. Here's a general bit of what I've learned throughout the my reading thus far (my order might be off):

God means what He says, obey Him (Genesis)

Anyone can forgive anything (account of Joseph)

I'm so thankful for grace!!! (Leviticus and all the other law books)

Idols are BAD (Kings and Chronicles)

If the Lord is in it, it WILL happen (Ezra, Nehemiah)

Don't let fear rule your heart, stand up for the Lord, no matter what may happen (Esther)

Suffering and persecution, one should consider it an honor to to do for the Lord, that He should choose us to be the one to be used to reveal Himself through us in such a way. Also, why He does things isn't our business.

I would like to finish this by Easter, but I would really like to read it and soak it in, not just skim...which I have definitely done :)

Simple Woman's Daybook

2010-01-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… January 9, 2009

Outside my window....sunshine that makes you feel warm to look at, but if you step out into it the cold wind steals your comfort.

I am thinking… of many many things.

I am thankful for… God's faithfulness, my hubs.

From the kitchen…breakfast was whole wheat banana & chocolate waffles, the rest of the day is undecided at this point.

From the learning rooms…how committed am I to the Lord? constant life lessons.

I am wearing… let's just say that it's laundry day.

I am reading… the Bible (in 90 days), Autobiography of George Mueller, Crazy Love by Francis Chan

I am hoping… for a short winter.

I am hearing… my daughter play cowgirl on a giraffe and youngest son play a toy piano.

I am creating… piles.

Around the house… must pick a project...how about the never ending bedroom?

One of my favorite things… listening to the kids Bible verses on Sunday am.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… planning for the church movie night (Faith Like Potatoes)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

looking forward

2010-01-05T11:11:00.000-08:00

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. I never keep them. I always fall short and therefore feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. However, I do love fresh beginnings and the New Year is definitely a symbol of that. So instead of just a resolution for the new year, here’s one for life. I want to look forward to what God is going to do in all things. To praise Him in the hard times as well as the good because I know, according to His word, that He works it all together for good. I want to be excited to see how things turn out when at the present they may seem hopeless. I want to let go of my past sins the way He has and grasp on to the victory that Christ claimed on the cross and through his resurrection for me. I want to be teachable. I want to love more, and not just in the obvious ways. I want to love in the secret ways that bring me no praise from men.

I love this verse for many reasons. One is that I grew up in the desert. We’d often go out into the wilderness. From a distance it just looks barren, as if there are nothing but rocks. Yet when you walk through it you see the plants and signs of animal life. You ‘ll wander for a while and find an old pathway that leads through the mountains, and you know that someone else has been here. After a rain the washes run full of water and the ground is full of colorful flowers that have been dormant for years. It’s such a beautiful picture of how He can bring what appears dead to life. He really does make all things new. Let’s look forward together for those roadways in the wilderness and the rivers in the deserts.

New

2009-09-16T20:27:00.000-07:00

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.

Lamentations 3:22-24

We are not consumed because of His great love. How awesome is that? Last week I threw myself a pity party. What's worse is I invited some friends. Ugh. Let me just say that I am thankful for good friends, who still appear to want to be my friend, in spite of me. An example of that before mentioned great love. The invites went out when I started to feel lonely and like nobody loved me, respected me, blah blah blah. I was listening to lies. It's a slippery slope when you start to do that. After a long talk with one of those fab friends I took a walk and sobbed. I hadn't cried like that in a long time. I'm due every so often. It was there that the Lord reminded me that we've been here before but we don't have to stay. This same place of looking for contentment, security, significance, love, respect, comfort, etc. everywhere except the place where I already have it. I had slowly crept back towards putting this on people instead of leaving it in the Lord's hands. So of course I felt rotten for doing so but He reminded me that with Him every morning is new. Praise the Lord for that. I look forward to more new.

Headed for Pink Sands

2009-08-08T21:20:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-08-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… Tuesday August 5, 2009
Outside my Window,,,perhaps I should open it?
I am thinking… of all I have to do before I leave, and all that I want to do.
I am thankful for… my mom who is willing to come and be with the kids.
From the kitchen… broth.
I am wearing… let's just say that it is laundry day.

I am reading… The Maker's Diet and The Secret Garden (to the kids).
I am hoping… that this trip will be a time not only of relaxation, but regeneration.
I am hearing… kids chatting, cleaning and a dove cooing in the pear tree outside.

I am creating… a few baby gifts to have on hand for the 8 girlfriends that are pregnant.

Around the house… laundry, sheets to be changed, bedrooms to be vacuumed.
One of my favorite things… staying up late and laughing.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… picking up mom, store, packing and sailing away!

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

it should be this

but it's this...

Nostalgic Nester

2009-07-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

According to THESE people, that's my style personality. Actually I like it better than any other result I've had. Fun stuff. Though I think it makes me sound like I have clutter. Well, I guess I do, but I'm working on it!

"You're a collector who likes to express their individuality. Trends don't interest you; you're down to earth. You've developed your own style and stay true to yourself. You enjoy indoor and outdoor living. Unique souvenirs from your travels adorn your home. You're sentimental, you keep photo albums and happy memories around you. You make your own treasures."

What for?

2009-07-17T05:29:00.000-07:00

So I thought I'd try computer devotions and was wondering if I was flaking a bit on my devotions. I probably was, but never the less God met me in spite of me. I went to the LPM Blog and THIS is the first thing I read. Check it out. I thought it was quite relevant to my desire for scripture memory (what am I doing it for?) as well as the verses she chose. I often have to watch what I say or how I say something and I would like the Lord to conquer this in my life.

The other post that Beth is referring to is HERE. Also a worthy read, that caused some tears to stream down the cheeks.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-07-13T06:53:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Monday July 13, 2009

Outside my Window..a gorgeous day

I am thinking… just thinking

I am thankful for… this weather!

From the kitchen… spaghetti

From the learning rooms… summer reading, consistent obedience

I am wearing… jammies

I am reading… The Maker's Diet

I am hoping… to see results from before mentioned read

I am hearing… toys being dumped out on to the floor and Laurie Berkner

I am creating… just finished a couple doll dresses

Around the house… clutter is starting to build up, must attack!

One of my favorite things… kisses from V and E's wanting to snuggle with her mommy more lately.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… swim lessons

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

Goals

2009-07-11T11:52:00.000-07:00

I don't like goals. Chalk it up to my fear of failure, but I don't like to make them often. If I do they are usually a secret. I also do not like to be legalistic about things, but I can't handle not doing something I say I'm going to do. grrr. The fact of the matter is I am also a person who does well with accountability, so I am going to go public with a few goals I have. I'm still figuring out how to make some of these happen, but feel free to check on me anytime. I will feel loved :)

In no particular order

Play my guitar once a week.

Memorize a piece of scripture once a month, involve the kids in this somehow (could use a partner in this, any takers?)

Have REAL quiet time at least once or twice a week (this means, Bible open when there are no kids around, reading & praying w/ possible journaling for at least 20minutes if not more)

Get to the gym at least 3x a week

Sew something at least once a month

Complete a organization/de-cluttering project once a month

Be more consistent with kids on their chores.

Lose weight (overall health, and I don't want to buy any clothes in a bigger size!)

Learn more about simplifying life, through less spending and reducing possessions as well as appreciating nature and family time instead of turning to movies and Internet.

I know there is more, but I will start with that. I think I need to print this and put it somewhere I will see it so I don't forget.

Bulletin Cover

2009-06-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

Instead of posting it here you can check out my bulletin cover for last sunday at my church's blog here.

It's not about me....in case you were wondering.

2009-06-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

It's late and I need to go to bed. I've been slipping in and out of my insecurities lately and it's bugging the you know what out of me. I'll be in such a good place and then before you know it I remember that I'm fatter than ever and start taking everything personally. I nag my poor husband and if he answers me with any edge in his voice I am in tears. Perhaps it's woman stuff. Perhaps not. Anyway, while I'm still feeling crappy about myself I hear about something stupid that someone else has done. I can't wait to tell my poor husband and start to feel superior again! And then I get hit with reality. It's happened before. A dear friend in a bad place or dealing with something heavier than I could imagine and all I can think of is hitting my knees for them and of course to thank God for His patience and His forgiveness of one who is can be so petty. Today I get news of a dear one who has some heavy, scary stuff going on in her family. My weight, whether people like me, if I'm being a better parent than others...all nothing. There are people hurting on so many levels in this world, and they need to see that Jesus is real in their lives. I'm tired of this cycle, but I'm hoping that each round of it is one step closer to home.

Favorite Moment of the Evening

2009-06-11T07:37:00.000-07:00

Last night watching "So You Think You Can Dance" I had it muted for Mary's screaming. Dennis said, "un-mute it, what does Nigel have to say?".

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-06-08T05:58:00.001-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… June 8, 2009
Outside my Window...sunshine!!!! (with a little haze)
I am thinking… about summer.
I am thankful for… patience in my spouse.
From the kitchen…soon to be brewed coffee.
From the learning rooms…how to remain teachable.
I am wearing… black shirt, red skirt, bare feet

I am reading… closing in on the finish of Serve God Save the Planet, as well as occasional excerpts from Devotional Classics.
I am hoping… to not be overwhelmed by busyness.
I am hearing…tweety birds.

I am creating… invitations that are almost done!

Around the house… laundry, children, friend visiting.
One of my favorite things… the strawberries I picked last Friday that are now gone (freezer jam, desserts and the rest were gobbled up).

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… watching kids, Longwood Gardens, make laundry detergent, get my herbs in pots.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

2009-05-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today May 18, 2009

Outside my Window...green
I am thinking…about thinking
I am thankful for… weekend spent with my parents
From the kitchen… empty fridge
From the learning rooms… only a few more weeks of school
I am wearing…pj's

I am reading… still... Serve God Save the Planet. Must finish and return!
I am hoping… for unnecessary extras
I am hearing… a little voice of one who is glad to be back and playing in her own room

I am creating…ideas for a baby shower

Around the house… suitcases to be emptied
One of my favorite things… reminders of God's creativity and specific design, all at the zoo!

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… baseball games, getting baby V back on a real sleeping schedule and more
Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

"All creatures of our God and King..."

"Lift up your voice with us and sing, Hallelujah!"

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-05-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today, May 4, 2009

Outside my Window...darkness and rain

I am thinking… that I'm glad I remembered to do this!

I am thankful for… ice cream.

From the kitchen…chicken pot pie.

From the learning rooms… how to have a teachable heart...this is for everyone in this house.

I am wearing… jeans, black t-shirt, bare feet (also cold feet)

I am reading… blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I am hoping…to start reading again soon.

I am hearing… my children (who are supposed to be sleeping) quiz each other about random facts, my son was teaching his little sis how to make up a story and he was being very encouraging in the process.

I am creating… ideas for a baby shower.

Around the house… mess...must clean soon!

One of my favorite things…my youngest saying "pees" for please all through lunch today.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… rained out baseball games, babysitting, prep for my mom's arrival on Saturday (eeeee!)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

what??

2009-04-30T05:25:00.000-07:00

I don't want to be a judger, really. And this probably goes against my embracing humility. But last night I saw a 5 year old with a pacifier, outside, not sleeping, no visible special needs, running around. nuff said.

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-04-27T19:36:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… April 27, 2009

Outside my Window...darkness, sleeping cows

I am thinking…tomorrow's to do's and the smell of soap

I am thankful for… the few steps back into cooler weather that will be coming

From the kitchen…dinner was grilled butter & dill tilapia, grilled asparagus, mushroom, garlic, basil and parmesean orzo

From the learning rooms… the same lessons that i've learned before, back to sqare one

I am wearing… no comment

I am reading… this and that...i'm having commitment issues

I am hoping… for some spiritual clarity

I am hearing… whir of the fan

I am creating… plans for summer frocks

Around the house… snoozing family, and the need for serious spring cleaning

One of my favorite things… thin mint ice cream

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… cleaing, rained out game, catch up on Lost, dance recital

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-04-20T09:40:00.001-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… April 20, 2009
Outside my Window...dreadful weather

I am thinking…about simple, uninterrupted faith

I am thankful for… a husband I can talk to

From the kitchen…dirty dishes

From the learning rooms… how to take a loss, how to not be so absorbed with something that you can see nothing else

I am wearing… jeans, long sleeve faux layered shirt, warm fuzzy socks

I am reading… read? what's a read?

I am hoping… for the sunshine to return

I am hearing… wind rattling my windows

I am creating… lists

Around the house… laundry to be put away and sleeping children

One of my favorite things… my 1 yr old and his growing personality

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… baseball, dance class, sleepovers

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

I'd like to add that I have been soooo slacking on this. I know it's nothing I need to be legalistic about, but I was really hoping for this to be a point of consistency in my life. However there have been times where I didn't even think of it until Wed. People ask how is it with 3 kids and overall it's not crazy hard. It is overall busier. Ah well, so this is my season now. I'll take it and hopefully live it fully and save my reading for later.

He Is Risen!

2009-04-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

I love Easter Hymns. Perhaps I have mentioned this before. I had to share this favorite with you. I ask you to read the words and meditate on what this day is all about for us as believers. If there was ever a day to celebrate a victory this is it. Happy Easter, sing, celebrate, rejoice! HE IS RISEN! (Can I get an amen?)

Christ The Lord Is Risen Today
Text by: Charles Wesley, 1707-1788

Christ, the Lord, is risen today, Alleluia!
Sons of men and angels say, Alleluia!
Raise your joys and triumphs high, Alleluia!
Sing, ye heavens, and earth, reply, Alleluia!

Love's redeeming work is done, Alleluia!
Fought the fight, the battle won, Alleluia!
Lo! the Sun's eclipse is over, Alleluia!
Lo! He sets in blood no more, Alleluia!

Vain the stone, the watch, the seal, Alleluia!
Christ hath burst the gates of hell, Alleluia!
Death in vain forbids His rise, Alleluia!
Christ hath opened paradise, Alleluia!

Lives again our glorious King, Alleluia!
Where, O death, is now thy sting? Alleluia!
Once He died our souls to save, Alleluia!
Where thy victory, O grave? Alleluia!

Soar we now where Christ hath led, Alleluia!
Following our exalted Head, Alleluia!
Made like Him, like Him we rise, Alleluia!
Ours the cross, the grave, the skies, Alleluia!

Hail, the Lord of earth and heaven, Alleluia!
Praise to Thee by both be given, Alleluia!
Thee we greet triumphant now, Alleluia!
Hail, the resurrection day, Alleluia!

King of glory, Soul of bliss, Alleluia!
Everlasting life is this, Alleluia!
Thee to know, Thy power to prove, Alleluia!
Thus to sing and thus to love, Alleluia!

Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!
Unto Christ, our heavenly King, Alleluia!
Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!
Sinners to redeem and save. Alleluia!

But the pains that He endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation have procured, Alleluia!
Now above the sky He's King, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!
Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!
Who did once upon the cross, Alleluia!
Suffer to redeem our loss. Alleluia!

Bulletin Cover 3/15

2009-04-03T19:53:00.000-07:00

I recently had a week where I made some mistakes. Yes, everyone makes mistakes, but these were the kind of mistakes that were made in front of others and I was called on them. It’s not so bad when you mess up and no one knows it. It’s easier for me to brush that off and move on in life. However, the times where I publicly say something stupid or arrogant, (my mouth is usually what gets me into trouble) and people take notice, are the times when I am really knocked down by my sin. When everybody else sees it I can’t pretend it didn’t happen and I am forced to deal with it. I have to recognize that I need the Lord. I am reminded that I cannot coast through life on mealtime prayers, and Sunday morning attendance. I desperately need God with His grace and mercy. So I read the scriptures and I cry out to Him and He tells me He loves me. He tells me that He came for the foremost of sinners, not those who trust in their own righteousness. He tells me these things and again I am humbled and thankful. Even in my sin He has chosen to use me as an example of how far His love and patience reach. I’d rather He use me to show others something that doesn’t involve me falling on my face in the mud. But that is the attitude that sends me to the mud in the first place. I don’t like to have that kind of a week, but I’m sure that I need to be knocked down every now and again so I can be reminded of Who is holding me up.

“And the grace of our Lord was more than abundant, with the faith and love which are found in Christ Jesus. It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among who I am foremost of all. Yet for this reason I found mercy, so that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.” 1 Timothy 1:14-17

My Simple Woman’s Daybook

2009-03-30T04:02:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For today... March 30, 2009

Outside my Window...remnants of a storm and pink light on the fields

I am thinking… how did "Summer of 69" get stuck in my head?

I am thankful for… hot water and decent pressure in my shower.

From the kitchen…chili

From the learning rooms… yesterday we finally read about the 2nd commandment in our Droodles book. The kids love it and wanted to keep going. (unless that was a ploy to avoid rest time?)

I am wearing… what what? who's dressed so early? that's right, I am! jeans and a long sleeve shirt, ugly blue socks with non slip soles.

I am reading… a new book! Serve God Save the Planet (it is from a stack borrowed from Deanna, I've had these books for way too long.)

I am hoping… to work for consistency

I am hearing… birds, again.

I am creating…grocery list

Around the house… sleeping children, one who needs to be woken up for school

One of my favorite things… V's new thing of trying to be silly on purpose for a laugh.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… tball practice 2x, dance class, Truth Project, hopefully rearranging some rooms.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you

Saint Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T06:14:00.000-07:00

In honor of today, here are some quotes of Pat himself:

Before I was humiliated I was like a stone that lies in deep mud, and he who is mighty came and in his compassion raised me up and exalted me very high and placed me on the top of the wall.

I am Patrick, a sinner, most uncultivated and least of all the faithful and despised in the eyes of many.

If I have any worth, it is to live my life for God so as to teach these peoples; even though some of them still look down on me.

No one should ever say that it was my ignorance if I did or showed forth anything however small according to God's good pleasure; but let this be your conclusion and let it so be thought, that - as is the perfect truth - it was the gift of God.

That which I have set out in Latin is not my words but the words of God and of apostles and prophets, who of course have never lied. He who believes shall be saved, but he who does not believe shall be damned. God has spoken.

The Lord opened the understanding of my unbelieving heart, so that I should recall my sins.

I am imperfect in many things, nevertheless I want my brethren and kinsfolk to know my nature so that they may be able to perceive my soul's desire.”

Christ beside me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ within me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me.

My Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-03-16T06:02:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For today... March 16, 2009

Outside my Window...hazy

I am thinking… that i shouldn't have bought the "protein zone" version of the Naked juive smoothie.

I am thankful for… grace and mercy.

From the kitchen…soon to be a roast, in the crock.

From the learning rooms… responsibility

I am wearing… still in my jammies, but i AM getting dressed after this!

I am reading… seek God for the city, adult and child's version, and I am almost done with Under the Overpass.

I am hoping… that my youngest will start to consistently sleep through the night.

I am hearing… birds.

I am creating…ideas, only ideas.

Around the house… preparation for tomorrow night's Truth Project.

One of my favorite things… that my son didn't want to hurt my feelings about dinner the other night.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… getting back to normal and having 4 little girls 5 and under for a sleepover on Friday night. hold me.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you

My simple woman's daybook

2009-03-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For today... March 9, 2009

Outside my Window...sunshine and breezes

I am thinking… of the baby in my tummy

I am thankful for… God's providence

From the kitchen… crockpot is giving off yummy smells, something new that i hope taste yummy too.

From the learning rooms… why it's important to tell the truth

I am wearing… just once i'd like to be dressed for real when I do this!

I am reading… seek God for the city, adult and child's version

I am hoping… to get better very soon!

I am hearing… my daughter's bible songs, and a baby that is ready to get out of his crib

I am creating…imaginary order

Around the house… sickness that needs to LEAVE!

One of my favorite things…even thought the baby is sick i was thankful to have a whole hour to lay on the couch and have him lay comfortably on my chest

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week…recooperate, possible swim field trip

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…the first crocus of spring!

Verse to share:
anything about healing!

be careful what you ask for

2009-03-05T06:54:00.000-08:00

Did you know that if you ask God to humble you He probably will? Twice this has happened to me this week. It hit me so hard, sent me into tears and feeling of depression. I'm still bugged by these events, but I want to accept humility. How do we do this? I don't want to just brush them off so I simply feel better. I want them to soak in as lessons, to accept them as part of His pruning. Ouch, but how much prettier I'll be later.

6But He gives a greater grace Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE." 7Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:6-7

SImple Woman's Daybook

2009-03-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For today... March 2, 2009

Outside my Window...white flurries and a blanket of snow

I am thinking… of changes

I am thankful for… my husband

From the kitchen… a mess to be cleaned and a ? for dinner

From the learning rooms… we started looking at the 10 Commandments and are reading from The Droodles, Ten Commandments Storybook, I had this as a child.

I am wearing… around the house clothes, it's laundry day

I am reading… various parts of my Bible, and getting back into Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America, by Mike Yankoski (still)

I am hoping… order, peace, confidence in the Sovereign

I am hearing… my daughter's bible songs

I am creating…floor plans in my head

Around the house… laundry, happy children

One of my favorite things…today I saw my oldest son teaching his little sister how to write the numbers she needed help with.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… check in on a friend, make some calls, finish some sewing that was started a LONG time ago.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

it has gone too fast.

Verse to share:

Truly, truly I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it. John 4:12-14

Simple Woman's Daybook

2009-02-22T20:45:00.000-08:00

I saw this on a friend's blog a while a back. I've been trying to journal more as well as use this blog more and I thought this might be a good writing exercise as well as a way to stop and reflect on the simple things. I hope to do this consistently on Mondays. I'd also like to add a verse that I read that dad.

Verse for the day:
For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, "Abba! Father!" The spirit also testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.
Romans 8:16-17 NAS

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For today... Feb 23, 2009
Outside my Window...blue skies with a few dabs of clouds, and very cold wind

I am thinking… about my dream that brad pitt came to my old church and i kept trying to talk to him about why he was there but it never happened before i woke up...weird.

I am thankful for… growing friendships

From the kitchen… right now it's just my coffee

From the learning rooms… e is wanting to learn to read and really picking up on it! love this.

I am wearing… black comfy pants, black cami, brown sweater and ugly blue socks

I am reading… various parts of my Bible, and getting back into Under the Overpass: A Journey of Faith on the Streets of America, by Mike Yankoski

I am hoping… for warmer weather soooooon

I am hearing… the still of a house with sleeping children (whom i need to get up)

I am creating…mostly ideas for some sewing projects

Around the house… I'm trying to think of ways to reduce clutter in our bedroom, it overwhelms me!

One of my favorite things…lately v has been such a charmer and loves to give kisses, i do wish they weren't so sloppy, but that's part of the fun.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… get ready for truth project tomorrow, watching other kids, considering whether or not it would be worth it to set fire to my bedroom.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

Bulletin Cover 2/15

2009-02-18T19:52:00.000-08:00

I’d Rather Have Jesus
I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands,
I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand.

Than to be a king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway,
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name.

He’s fairer than lilies of rarest bloom;
He’s sweeter than honey from out of the comb;
He’s all that my hungering spirit needs,
I’d rather have Jesus and let Him lead.
Rhea F. Miller (1922)

This song was in my head last night as I went to sleep. I love it. The words are simple and pure. They are refreshing to me, a perspective on life that I desire to have at all times. We live in a time when we have so much. I know most people would not say that they are wealthy. Yet, compared to most of the rest of the world we are. I don’t believe that having all that we have is sin itself. I just want to know that if God asked me to get rid of it all, would I? Do I really believe that Jesus meets every need in my life? I hope so.

I resonate with this passage in Matthew in the Message:
24 -26Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?

What could I ever trade my soul for? How about an active relationship with the Living God, and the bonus of eternal life?

Buried

2009-02-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

Me: "I'm asking you as a husband. What do you think? Because I don't want to."

Husband: "Then I think you should."

He was right. When the pastor mentioned a few weeks ago that there was going to be a baptism service, I immediately felt a weight fall upon me. When he said that if this was something that we were ready to follow the Lord in, and that we should come see him, I felt almost a burning swell up within me.

I can't remember a time where God wasn't a part of my life. I can remember praying and making a decision by a gold couch in my old room. Though my dad remembers an earlier prayer with him. In fourth grade I went forward in church to make a public profession of faith and later talked with our interim pastor. Baptism came up in the conversation, but soon after our church hired a full time pastor and it didn't come up again.

I honestly didn't think of it tons after that. It didn't bother me. I had been baptized with the Holy Spirit at conversion and water baptism is not a requirement for salvation, so it was no big deal. Then when as I matured, opportunities arose and I let them pass by. (One opportunity being the chance to be immersed in a lake in the Rocky Mountains...still trying to forgive myself for this, sigh.) There were times I even wore it as a banner for the cause "saved by grace, no works required." This being true, we are saved by grace, we are still called to obey in order to have a full, deep and intimate relationship with the One who has saved us.

Needless to say, the Lord has been persistent in pursuing me. After the earlier mentioned conversation with my husband I went talk to our pastor and could barely get the words out. The hardest part of this whole experience was to be willing to humble myself before people I know and many I don't know. To be able to say to everyone, that I want to follow Jesus and after 25ish years of doing so, I am stilling learning, still seeking, and I have not figured everything out. I think I do this in small ways or with close friends who know me well. However, if I'm honest I'd rather not have people thinking that I can be clueless on various points of life including an array of spiritual matters.

When I was there, it was easy. I thought it would be hard, but it wasn't. There was a passing moment of emotion and near tears when we sang Amazing Grace. I was moved as the pastor read from Romans. And that was it. I was just happy and peaceful. It was the right thing to do. As it is always right to obey our Lord.

Thank you to all who supported me from near and far, if you only knew how much that meant to me, and how much I love you.

I am thankful that I was be able to share this with my children and my man. Don't I look happy?

*first photo of cross by my son J

*all other photos by Tina, who would probably like me to say that she doesn't think they are that great, but like them!

guilty

2009-01-30T10:19:00.000-08:00

I'm copying my friend Deanna who posted this link. As I read it and kept thinking things like "ugh, i hate that.." I would be lying if I too wasn't guilty of some of these. Dare to read it.

TRUTH

2009-01-13T12:55:00.001-08:00

This blog is not forgotten, but definitely neglected. I have a few ideas for posting, we'll see what happens. However, tonight Den and I are hosting our first night of the Truth Project. Check it out here.

Bulletin Cover 12/7

2008-12-11T07:27:00.000-08:00

So this blog is sorely neglected for a variety of reasons. One being I'm posting daily on my fam blog for the advent season. For now here is my recent bulletin cover.

Christmas is here. Okay so perhaps we still have some time until the actual date, but the season is upon us even now. The most common question asked of me as a child was “what do you want for Christmas?” I still get asked this question by family and I can think of several practical and impractical things to fill my list with. However, this year I want to ask myself the same, but slightly altered, question.

What do I want for Christmas that cannot be bought in a store?

A deeper relationship with my Lord. Oh I hope I never stop yearning for this. I don’t want to be caught in a place where I think I’ve “arrived” in my relationship with Christ. There is more of Him to know than I could ever dream of.
A deeper appreciation of my relationship with Christ. My dad has said that when we get to heaven and see people like Moses, and run up to him and ask what it was like to see the Red Sea split, or ask Abraham about seeing God’s glory pass by, that they will say, “Ya, it was great, but tell me what it was like to have the Holy Spirit with you, and have it never leave you?” Our New Testament relationship is unique to those before Pentecost. I don’t want to take it for granted.
I want to be completely yielding to God being the author of my life story. There are so many things in my life that have not gone the way I thought they would have. There are even some things in my finite mind that I still don’t understand and would change. How dare I? I want to take honor and be humbled that the author of the universe has taken interest in my story. He has specific plans for every aspect of my life, from being and wife to a mother, a friend and a servant. He has details for each. I don’t want to keep any part of it to myself.

I suppose those three things sum most of it up. Don’t get me wrong, I am looking forward to presents under the tree. But if I don’t get excited about the gifts that are listed above, there is no point in anything else. What’s great is that I already have all things in Christ. ALL THINGS! I wish you could hear me shout for joy right now. Actually I wish I could shout, but I don’t want to frighten the children. Maybe I’ll go downstairs and get them to shout with me. Merry Christmas!

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. James 1:17

Advent

2008-12-03T10:05:00.001-08:00

I'm having some fun with an advent calendar on my family blog. Click here.

bulletin cover 11/16

2008-11-22T07:07:00.000-08:00

*photo by Nunook_Wolf_08

Does anyone else think that faith is scary? I have been thinking about this a lot lately, faith, that is. There is a great line in C.S. Lewis’ The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, where Susan asks the beaver if the lion named Aslan is safe. The response she receives is, " ‘Safe?’ said Mr. Beaver. ‘Who said anything about safe? Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you.’ "

I know that God is a safe place, but according the standards of this world we live in, faith is risky. It doesn’t really let us do what we want all the time and that is contrary to everything that is being said around us. When we give our lives to God, we give our lives to Him. Our lives are no longer our own. We die to ourselves. I don’t mean to sound repetitive, but do we really get that? Most times I don’t think I do. I can think of several times in my life where I’ve been that place where I’ve said, “ask of me Lord, I want to obey!” Then He does and I don’t really like what hear so I tell myself that’s probably not God talking, or I have the audacity to say “whoa, there, slow down God! How about we try something else?”

What is the risk of walking in faith? Not fitting in? Ridicule of man? Humbling ourselves? Why are these things scary? Do I not realize who I am dealing with? I must not. I don’t believe that God is going to strike me down at the first sign of disobedience, but perhaps I should remember that He could. God’s love, patience, and forgiveness is without end to be sure. Yet I don’t want to take it for granted and forget that He is GOD. ( I wish I could say that in a powerful, booming voice for effect.)

I can’t believe that I’ve tried to tell God what to do. I can’t believe that I would fear man more than God (same big voice). I am so thankful that when things don’t seem safe, that I may remember that He is good.

Read Matthew 14:24-32

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

his love endures forever. Psalm 118:1

a word from piper

2008-11-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

some wisdom and perspective...reminding me of Who is sovereign.

No Sleep!

2008-10-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

Last night the baby got up twice which could have been worse, but I was still wishing that it was zero times. I know I'm not the only mom who dreams of uninterrupted nights of sleep. I enter this place where I start to bargain with or even beg God for sleep. Is that too much to ask? Then last night this verse about God and how He neither slumbers nor sleeps came into my head. I'm sure it was by chance.

Psalm 121
I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; from whence shall my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made the heaven and earth. He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul. The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever.

10 things

2008-10-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been neglecting this blog, because I don't FEEL like being vulnerable. ick.....but I'm working on that. SO as to follow the example of friends I'm simply going to list 10 things that I am thankful for and/or make me happy. I am supposed to write the bulletin cover for next Sunday, so I better get real soon, pray for that please.

in no particular order

1. When my kids willingly give me hugs and kisses

2. A friend telling me they love me as their friend

3. Coffee mixed with hot chocolate in the morning

4. Dennis kissing me goodbye in the am when I am mostly asleep

5. When V nearly sleeps through the night

6. Naps

7. Being included

8. pretty paper/fabric

9. blog comments (no hint intended :)

10. I heard my ring tone at the end of a movie the other day (son of rambow, check it out!)

this would make 11, but this pic makes me happy...abbie in the back goofing it up, traci is in the moment with a sincere smile...we were all getting our groove on....love it.

quote to chew on...

2008-09-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

Excerpts from The Indwelling Life of Christ, by Major W Ian Thomas, Chapter 9;

The Holy Spirit always exposes the flesh for what it is, and there is nothing more infuriating to the carnally minded Christian than when those who are spiritually discerning remain unimpressed with him i spite of so much self-advertisement.

Consent, therefore, to die to all that you are which does not derive from all that Christ is, and thank Him for His willingness to make it real in your experience.

sometimes I'm not sure what side of that (the first sentence) i'm on...

How do I smell?

2008-08-26T05:37:00.000-07:00

So the title doesn't seem to be as eloquent as I imagined this post to be when i decided to write 30 seconds ago. However, it is the question that ran through my mind like a scrolling marquee as I read this verse:

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of Him in every place. For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing; to the one an aroma from death to death, to the other an aroma from life to life. And who is adequate for these things? For we are not like many; peddling the word of God, as from sincerity, but as from God, we speak in Christ in the sight of God. 2 Corinthians 3:4

So I've copied this verse down and maybe I shouldn't write anymore, as scripture does speak for itself. But I have often wondered what my aroma leads people to; life or death? There are a few people in my past in particular that I've had to learn to say a prayer for and move on because I know that I wasn't living in a way that would exemplify Christ's values. I cringe at the thought. What about now? I think on the outside I do so so. On the inside sometimes there is this attitude that creeps up like a ugly green monster and before you know it a spiritual battle is raging in my head. Victory is the Lord's as always, but what am I doing to spark the fight in the first place? Is there a spiritual deodorant that works from the inside out? I suppose that I have it already in the Holy Spirit, need to work on the daily yielding....

Verse 17, YES!! I feel like there is this marketing of Jesus going on out there and as my pastor said once, "we don't need to make God look good, He is good". But how will people know that when we are not speaking from sincerity? I know He is bigger than all my shortcomings and greater than my best day. I still get mixed up in that you don't have to do anything but even that takes effort. I just want to live truth and not get bogged down in too many gray areas.

2008-08-18T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'll be somewhere else, doing something else and be filled with something to write, but by the time I get here it's gone, or quickly fading away. I don't like this. And yet I have kids, and other responsibilities and even now I think I'll be writing this in pieces, as my kids are downstairs playing, but that will only last so long. So as I have a moment I'm going to try to get out some of what's been going on in my upstairs region the past week or so.

My last post had the "Cardboard Testimonies" video. I still can't watch it without becoming a bit pheclemped. Mostly I am just humbled by the reminder of how little I recognize the workings of God. Even when I try to think of what my Cardboard Testimony would be my first thought is, "well, really now, what has God done in my life?" This is ridiculous, I know, but I suppose I have always suffered from the comparison complex. I see the big, amazing, in your face testimonies and rarely look in the shadows of what He has done in mine. And He HAS done great things. SO what would my piece of cardboard say....for now it would say, "wanted to jump to the end" flip it, "loving the ride". Even with that I want to add "most of the time" but I suppose that is the point - growth. If I get another tattoo, remind me that I want it to say that (sorry mom :) .

The other night I was thinking about fear. I like to think I'm a no fear type of gal. I've been bungee jumping (which I've learned is not a good thing to tell your life insurance agent), I'd love to sky dive. I have rational fears, like I did get a little naturally freaked on the inside before I went bungee jumping, but I still did it and want to immediately do it again. Still, I was driving home that night and reflecting on my day. I had been horseback riding and it was the first time in at least 6 years. I used to show and ride from ages 9 to 18, so this wasn't completely foreign to me. Still I was slightly nervous. I wasn't afraid of falling of the horse. I was afraid of looking like an idiot. Even more so I was afraid that the person I was with would be able to tell that I didn't want to look like an idiot. As gracious as she was, I'm sure she could tell. Fear of man...grrr. I truly hate it. How many times does the Bible talk about the Lord being on your side, or going before you and whom shall you fear? Tons of times. Enough times that I should know not to fear by now. I should fear nothing but God. At time like this I realize I have no clue how great and mighty our God is, no clue into the concept of eternity.

Inspiring

2008-08-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

vulnerability and transparency at its best

Victory

pretty

2008-07-29T08:31:00.000-07:00

bulletin cover July 27th

2008-07-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

For some time now I have noticed different stages in my life and have labeled them. The ignorant years were my teens, the stupid years my early twenties, and the most recent stage I like to call "embracing the process of me." This was a time when I was very aware with everything wrong with me and I was so overwhelmed with the though of fixing it all in one day. It took some time, but I have since learned that life is a journey, a process that works much better if you embrace and accept the time that it is going to take. It will take a lifetime. My present stage is learning about humility, what it is and how to live a humble life. The previous lesson taught me that it is not necessarily hanging out all my dirty laundry at once, or beating myself up over the stupid years. I am still learning what it is and I'll take any tips that you feel led to pass on to me. However, God is a faithful teacher and I read something that brought me to a place of humility before God.

I picked up a book I read a couple years ago because the chapters are meaty but short and thus great for quick devotional time of an unorganized mother of three. So let me encourage you to run, don't walk, to your nearest Christian bookstore and purchase The Indwelling Life of Christ: All of Him in All of Me by Major W. Ian Thomas. Each chapter has at least one or more questions for you to linger over and carry with you through your day. Here are the first two questions at the end of Chapter One, Finding God On Earth: "1. What does it fully mean to you that you have been created in God's image and likeness.? 2. What things should logically be expected from someone who is made in God's image and likeness?" The first time I read this I mentally threw the book across the room. I was overwhelmed with my faults and shortcomings and how I was nowhere near to mirroring God's perfect image here on earth. Reading it this time, I had a little more clarity of thought, embraced the process and felt the Lord reminding my to focus on who He is and not what I am not.

Who is God? 1 John 4:16 tells us that God is love. What is love? 1 Corinthians 13 tells us all about love. Allow me to replace the word "love" with "God" and it with "His" or "He".

"God is patient, God is kind and is not jealous; God does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; He does not seek His own, is not provoked, does not take into account of a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes in all things, endures all things. God never fails..."

This is who God is, this is who I am to reflect so others may see. Step one of humility is to take my focus off of myself and put it on God. Have you ever noticed that if you are around a person long enough you start to pick up there habits or mannerisms, good or bad? May I surround myself with the God who is Love and take on His ways.

Reads

2008-07-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

For those of you that pay attention to what I am reading (deanna?), I have added the Goodreads widget instead of updating my own lists. Now you can see anything I've ever read, am reading or hope to read. Joys for you, huh?

a jumble

2008-06-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about this blog and wished I could have it wired somehow so when I started thinking of what I want to write on here it would just be transmitted from my jumbled brain to here. I've tried carrying a notepad with me so I can write thoughts as they come to me, but I don't do it, or I am driving and can't. Anyway...back to the purpose of this. Even now I pause, I want to stop writing. The point of me starting this was to have a place to be more personal, to be more vulnerable (whether or not anyone reads this), and as I read what I have written, there hasn't been to much vulnerability or humility. Perhaps a little and I know really know what I expect from myself, but I noticed there was a lot of "this is what I think about that". That's okay to a point, but I want to be more....of what? I don't know. I want to live deeper and more genuine, without fear of man. Just when I think I have that licked it comes rushing back from behind and knocks me down. I have been in my parents home for roughly two weeks and it has been great. A bit earlier as I was folding clothes and packing to leave to morrow, my mom was holding the baby and playing with him and I had a moment where I was aware of how natural it was to be with my mom and my kids and how strange that the experience was not a more regular part of my life. Three thousand miles is a barrier that cannot be hurdled, and I really have become more okay with it, but I still get a little sad at times. I want my kids to know my side of the family. I just spent some time with my brother who I haven't seen in six months less of two years. It was such an odd combination of getting to know someone all over again and sensing familiarity. I hugged him when I saw him and got teary eyed and pheclemped as I told him he looked like a stranger to me. (He looks so different! But good) I feel like I hardly know his wife as sweet as she is. My kids LOVED being with them and holding their hands and people/dog watching with them out the large windows of there studio apartment. I can't think about the distance and what we're all missing out on too much, because frankly it SUCKS. There is no eloquent way to put it. There are thousands of reasons why where we are living is a good ting and I have seen God work through geography to benefit a variety of relationships in my life, as well as a variety of personal issues in more ways than I could have imagined. But I still want so have my cake and eat it too. ( I actually hate that phrase) So here I rambled and spilled out what has been going on up there, brace yourself for more.

Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus

2008-05-29T06:22:00.000-07:00

I was on the schedule to write the bulletin cover for the end of June and last night someone asked me to trade with them to a much sooner Sunday and I have so much to do and won't be here for that Sunday! But praise the Lord, as I chose to actually call on Him before I freaked out, He answered me and gave me this. Thank you Father!

When I attended the women’s Monday night Bible study I learned, and was not surprised, that I am not the only person who has a deep love affair with the ocean. I often shamelessly ask someone if they are a mountain person or a beach person to see what level of friendship we might attain, though I did marry a mountain person. Still, for as long as I can remember I have loved all sorts of bodies of water, from puddles to seas, water has always captivated me. Yet, the ocean holds the highest rank. For those of you mountain people, let me explain.

I stand on the sand and look out at something that is bigger than me, stronger than me; it goes farther than I can comprehend. The ocean is full of more life than my whimsical mind could ever imagine. The ocean tide is amazingly predictable even 20 plus years from now because of its relationship with the moon. The waves are constantly molding and changing the shore that we see, the shelf that we do not see. The breakers sometimes crash right on the shore, loud and strong with the water spraying in your face. Sometimes they break farther out leaving only a gentle roll to wash onto the sand.

Sound familiar? God, though unlike the ocean He has no beginning or end, is bigger and stronger than me, His presence reaches farther than I can comprehend. He is not just full of life, He is life, a life more pure and full than I will ever see or imagine on this earth. We sing “Your love oh Lord is like the ocean’s tide” because His love is faithful, nothing can sway it, and unlike the ocean His love is dependent on nothing and no one. God is constantly shaping and molding our lives in ways we can and cannot see. Sometimes He speaks to us in ways that are loud, obvious, and either knocks us down or at least leaves sand in our hair and the taste of salt on our face. Other times He gently washes over us, tenderly loving us closer to Himself.

Please forgive me if it sounds like I am trying to limit God to an analogy of the ocean. I am not. The ocean is bigger than me, and God is bigger than the ocean. Even that sounds like an understatement to me. I didn’t mention the depth, nor did I even touch on the intricate sand. However, as we head into the summer and whether we are led to the beach or to the mountains, let us soak in the One who created the sun and the water and the skies and all that is around us to enjoy and to remind us of His amazing, comforting fabulous, stunning, washing over, incomprehensible, remarkable, mind blowing love.

O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free!
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me!
Underneath me, all around me,
Is the current of Thy love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Thy glorious rest above!

O the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore!
How He loveth, ever loveth
, Changeth never, nevermore!
How He watches o’er His loved ones,
Died to call them all His own;
How for them He intercedeth,
Watcheth o’er them from the throne

!O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
Love of every love the best!
’Tis an ocean vast of blessing,
’Tis a haven sweet of rest!
O the deep, deep love of Jesus,
’Tis a heaven of heavens to me;
And it lifts me up to glory,
For it lifts me up to Thee!

Samuel Trevor Francis (1875)

The Shack

2008-05-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how close you look at this blog, but you might have noticed that The Shack by William P. Young has moved out of the reading now section. I finished it about a week ago and I am just now getting to blog about it. This book is full of so much, that I don't really know where to start. I will say that it is not necessarily the greatest piece of literature I have ever read, but all the same it was a good read. The main character, Mack, has a tragedy occur in his family which leads him to a face to face encounter with God in three persons. He is put into a situation where he has an opportunity to ask God all the questions most of the world desires to ask. He is shown how to face his fear, and struggles, through a relationship with the Father, which in turn brings freedom. I can't really say anymore, I would be just telling you the whole story instead of letting you read it. But I do recommend that you read it. This book would be a great discussion book, perfect for those questioning the idea of church as an institution, for those who are questioning who God really is. Young does an beautiful and articulate job of clarifying God as the relationship paradigm, distinguishing between what man has created versus God's design for us. It's not scripture, but I personally didn't find anything that directly contradicted it. There were a few times where I started to say, "hmmm...wait a sec.." and then I would read on and say, "okay, ya..." Read it, let me know what you think.

An excerpt:

Mack was a bit taken back to hear Jesus talking about "church" this way, but then again, it didn't really surprise him. It was a relief. "So how do I become a part of that church.?" he asked. "This woman you seem to be so gaga over."

"It's simple, Mack. It's all about relationships and simply sharing life. What we are doing right now- just doing this- and being open and available to others around us. My church is all about people and life is all about relationships. You can't build it. It's my job and I'm actually pretty good at it," Jesus said with a chuckle.

later on...

"Mack, you don't need to have it all figured out. Just be with me."

Mom

2008-05-11T10:30:00.001-07:00

a little tribute to my mom click here

Comfort

2008-05-07T05:28:00.000-07:00

I have a picture in my head. I've walked into my house one evening and I see my mom standing at my sink, my grandma is next to her, holding my youngest son (3 months old) and his head is resting on her shoulder in complete comfort. I don't get to see this often as these women live 3000 miles away. But Sunday night my husband and I came home to this picture and I was filled with warmth. The women in my family, in my home guarding my children, perhaps this is no big deal to you. For me it was a reminder to not take for granted what time I have with my family, and to be thankful that I have women ahead of me that have wisdom that only come from the Lord and a willingness to love and care for me and mine.

Who Needs Who?

2008-04-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

God doesn’t need us. I have heard it preached that He does. I don’t think that’s true. He desires us, He wants us and He has chosen to weave us into His plan. But He doesn’t need us. We need Him. Our relationship with God is not codependent. Believing that God needs us may make us feel good, and more a part of things, but once again…it’s not about us. It’s about God. I find freedom in this. Not matter what I do I cannot mess up God’s plan. The outcome is written and I’m excited that He has chosen me to be a part of it. But I am not the reason it will or won’t work out. And it will work out. Our pastor said something on Sunday that I love, “God doesn’t need us to make Him look good. God is good.” amen? amen.

Freedom and Boundaries

2008-04-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

Growing up I remember my mom reading the writings of Watchman Nee. I picked up a few of his books at a Library sale a year or two ago and I have finally picked them up. Since I am reading a couple of other big books right now, I chose The Joyful Heart; Daily Meditations. Another reason I chose it is because it is a daily reading type of book and since I struggle with just picking up my Bible everyday this sort of thing helps me to do that. On Tuesday I read this:

"And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth." John 17:19

As the sinless Son of God, Jesus enjoyed freedom far exceeding any we have on earth. There is much that we may not do or say because we are so full of defects and defilement, but that was never true of him. And yet, notwithstanding, his faultlessness, he deliberately refrained from doing many things which for him would have been quite legitimate, from speaking many words which he might lawfully have spoken, and justifiably have taken. These were some of the ways in which he "sanctified" himself, refraining from much that was lawful for his disciples' sake.

What it means is that when holiness was in view, the Lord Jesus thought not merely of his own holiness but of ours. For our sakes he accepted limitations. The opposite of holiness is not sin but commonness. Commonness means: I do what is common practice to everyone. Holiness means: Others may do something but, in this instance at least, I may not. To sanctify ourselves is to accept restraint from God upon our spirits. As with the Lord Jesus, this may often be for the sake of others.

This really hit home as I have struggled with this for years. Balancing freedom and grace with living a holy and purposeful life. I love art in all forms (film, music, paintings, dance, etc.) and though perhaps the way the art is displayed as a whole appears beautiful to me, perhaps the content is not piece by piece edifying. Do I allow separation of that depending on the circumstance? Do I take into account that I'm all alone or whether or not non-believers or new believers are present, or should I just be 100% consistent in these decisions. I think that with the turn some churches are taking there is this idea of telling the world we are just like them so the world will accept us. The Bible tells us that isn't going to happen. We are not like the world and the world will hate us for it. What's the point if we are to be the same? I know that I often want to be sure that I don't come across too judgemental, or stuffy or a prude if you will, instead of being concerned about living up to the way I am seen by God, holy. He sees me this way because Christ died for my sins, rose from the dead and is now standing in front of me as a filter of light and cleanliness. I wonder if some of the choices I make spit on that.

Velcro

2008-04-10T04:53:00.000-07:00

"No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing." 2 Samuel 24:24

I read this yesterday and was challenged in how I live for the Lord, how I give to Him. I will say to Him, "Anywhere, anytime, anything Lord." But my life often lives a "anywhoodie... la de da" and I'll ignore the Holy Spirit's leading and go my own way. I suppose I don't do that in all things, but mostly in the things that will cost me something when the push comes to shove. And it's funny because I really think I would obey in the big public things. It's the little things that affect my comfort zone that are the challenge. But then I'm not doing it for the Lord but for me, which is why perhaps He doesn't let me out too much these days. And what does it cost me really? If I truly believe that our time here is a just a breath, does it really cost me anything? It costs me my pride. That thing I keep trying to throw away but it sticks like Velcro. So I'll just have to keep ripping it off.

sidenote: in the previous post I mentioned a missing piece. so yesterday I put the puzzle away and 20min. later I found the piece...grrr...

Missing Piece

2008-04-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

When my mom was here and we were waiting for baby number three to arrive, she bought a box of puzzles. I must admit that I was not thrilled with the idea. Large puzzles have always annoyed me because I would look at them, add a piece or two and then get stuck. So when the first puzzle was started (there were 9 in the box I think) I wandered over, found a few pieces and before you knew it I could not tear myself away from it. The other night the kids wanted to do another one, which means I'll do it and now and then they'll check on the progress. Once again I became hooked and was determined to finish it, (it's a painting of Time Square) and it basically took me to nights and I finished it up yesterday morning. While I was placing in the last few pieces I stopped to examine a piece more closely and dropped it. I still haven't found it. So 749 pieces down, 1 to go. There are so many metaphors I could ramble on about when it comes to a missing piece. But lately I have been thinking about how I still think that things of this earth will "change my life". Those are the exact words that I think and sometimes speak when something new and yet temporal is about to enter my world. I said it when I got a new vacuum that I wanted for my birthday (did not change my life, but I don't dread vacuuming anymore). I recently said it after we decided to buy a dishwasher. All the while there is God's voice in my head saying, "Um excuse me, I believe that I change your life." Yes, HE's right....not vacuum's and dishwashers (although they are part of His blessings) or even a million dollars will change my life in the way that He can and has, and continues to. I don't want to be waiting on a lottery that I don't play to fall into my lap, and then I can do amazing things for God. I want to learn to serve in the small things, in my home, in prayer, behind the scenes, and then not be afraid when the big ones that I've asked for come along.

He Will Come!

2008-04-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to this song a lot lately. I just finished a Bible study in Daniel and so the subject of the end times has been rolling around in my head. There was a time in my life where I honestly did not look forward to the Lord's return as much as I should have or do now. I was younger and had some things that I wanted to do first, marriage, kids, travel, etc. And though I'm thankful that I have been able to experience all though things now, I realize how temporal all this is. I have heard it said that this life on earth is an exhale and eternity is where we inhale. I want to live in the moment and enjoy the time I have here, but I still want to have eternity in the forefront of my mind. Which, I suppose, will help me to treasure what little time we have here, and to live it well.

When I first heard this song I was sure that they had a spy cam following me around, it describes me down to the Chevy and spilling things, not seeing myself as the Father does....beautiful.

He Will Come
by Don Chaffer and Lori Chaffer

Soon it will be hammered into what she calls her silly head
That she really isn’t silly but she’s beautiful instead
But every time she gets a hold of something pretty, it slips away
So she keeps hoping that someday soon

CHORUS
He will come. He will come
He will comfort all that’s hardened
Change the deserts into gardens
And we all will see His face.
He will come. He will come.
He will soften all the starkness
Break the chambers of our darkness
And we’ll all be overwhelmed

She spilled her coffee in her Chevy on the way to work at 8:05
She always thought that she was clumsy and she hated it and wondered why
She can handle any tragedy that happens but not little things like this
So she keeps hoping that someday soon

He will come. He will come
He will comfort all that’s hardened
Change the deserts into gardens
And we all will see His face.
He will come. He will come.
He will soften all the starkness
Break the chambers of our darkness
And we’ll all be overwhelmed

Within the world of a girl, the words she hears they mean an awful lot
And the music in her mind when she gets older has the lyrics she was taught
And when she gets to heaven all the right things will be said
And He will look on her with favor

He will come. He will come
He will comfort all that’s hardened
Change the deserts into gardens
And we all will see His face.
He will come. He will come.
He will soften all the starkness
Break the chambers of our darkness
And we’ll all be overwhelmed

He will come. He will come.
He'll remove His flaming garment,
Place it on the lowest harlot,
And we all will see His face.
He will come. He will come.
All my scars will turn to fountains
All my valleys into mountains
And we all will see His face
He will come. He will come.
All you watchmen lift your voices
Then every boy and girl rejoices
when we’ll all be overwhelmed .

warmer days ARE coming...

2008-03-27T07:21:00.001-07:00

It's one of those cloudy days where the reain comes when I'm not looking. The only reason I know that it fell is because I peeked outside my front door and saw spots on my walkway. So I sit and drink my homemade mocha, do my bible study "homework", and start this. I don't want to leave the house today, but I must pick up my daughter and niece from preschool. I don't want to do anything today except stay cozy and drink hot beverages and read my book and browse the internet. But as I'm reminded everyday, life isn't about me. Although it's dreary today I know spring is technically here. In the spirit of the soon to come warmer days I'm sharing some pictures of flowers that I've taken over the past year.