Room for more....

I was looking at some pictures I took of the kids when trying to get that prefect Christmas card. When I looked at one of the pictures I thought,"someone is missing." What? I have four kids. I do not want to be pregnant again. But for some reason the picture didn't look full enough for me. There could easily be a logical explanation for this. My kids have lots of cousins and perhaps I was mentally comparing my little group shot to a group shot of them and their cousins. Or perhaps in my need to clutter up everything I thought there was too much space around them and the frame simply needed to be zoomed in closer. Then I thought that I might be reminded that there is a baby that will never be there due to the miscarriage that I had in April 2009. Perhaps, it's another way that the Lord is showing me that there is always room for one more as he keeps tapping my heart door open to the possibility of adoption. I think that's it. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It also scares the badoozles out of me. The idea of having another child to take care of and another heart to train overwhelms me. Fear of failure, selfishness, learning to trust God in all things; these are just some of the reasons that I struggle with this. But then you see things like this. Hear stories like this or this and wonder how you cannot be a part of something so close to God's heart. I don't know. I don't know. I went bungee jumping once and I started to freak out inside as I went up on the platform that rose until it was time to leap. I was freaking out and yet I wanted it so bad. I did it and it was the most amazing feeling to free fall and soar through the air the whole while knowing that I was secured to something and not going to get hurt. I've been told and experienced that there is nothing so great as knowing you are where God wants you to be. I feel like adoption or foster care or something along those lines is a bungee jump that freaks me out, but I know the result could be amazing if it's what He has for us. We shall see, but He already knows.

*not me in the photo

Grateful

32. Health

33. Going to CA in 17 days

34. Hubby helping out extra without me asking

35. Encouraging notes

36. My daughter let me nap with her blanket yesterday

37. Soft heads on babies

38. Money to do some Christmas shopping

39. Sunshine (this may appear on my list more than once!)

40. Honesty

41. Free turkey

42. My kid's amazing teachers

43. Able to breastfeed (even though it hurts like the dickens right now!)

44. Abundance

45. My SIL's

Grateful

I feel kind of sad that it's been so long since I've done this...but of course this blog is used to being neglected. I've been thinking about my casual complaints. You know the complaints about everyday annoyances that in the grand scheme of life really aren't that bad. However, the antitheses of the source of my annoyance would be awful...does that make sense? I'll start my thankfulness list and you'll see what I mean....

- I HATE it when I lose pressure while taking a shower or the water goes cold
26. Running water
-I wish my stomach fat would magically disappear
27. Food in my tummy
-My 6month old's teeth are not so cute when he's nursing
28. a healthy, growing, beautiful little boy
-We only have one toilet for this family of 6
29. a flushing toilet
- The paint peels off the walls of this ancient house, and no matter how much you clean, it will never look fresh and clean
30. a sturdy home to protect us from the cold
-Sometimes I just want to stay home on Sunday and snuggle on the couch
31. a country where I am free to worship Who and how I choose.

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

By Maya Angelo

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'' I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!'

Dare you to watch this.

Overcome

Honestly, when I first saw this video that my friend sent me I was mostly excited about the Lite Brite. I LOVED my Lite Brite. I thought the video was extremely creative, I appreciate stop motion animation, etc. But that was it. Then someone else asked me what the big deal was and I listened to/watched it again.....and again and again. I love that He has overcome anything that I feel overcome by. Small or large, petty or or serious trial, Jesus has already overcome it and then I am overcome with His victory, His love.

Watch again and read the words.

Send me a sign
A hint, a whisper
Throw me a line
'Cause I am listening
Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me to life
'Cause I am fading

(surround me)
The rush of angels' wings

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

You sent a sign
A hint, a whisper
Human divine
Heaven is listening
Death laid love quiet
Yet in the night a stirring

(all around )
The rush of angels

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Come for us
Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Has come

Shine your light so all can see it
Lift it up cause the whole world needs it
Love's come down what joy to hear it
He has overcome
He has overcome

thanks suz!

*if 1/3 or so of the video screen is cut off go here to watch

I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets an unwanted song in their head. Lately there have been a couple of radio hits that have clung to my brain and the chorus will repeat itself over and over again. Grrrr. These aren’t songs that I like or listen to, but all it takes is one little reminder of it and BAM, it’s stuck there. Once I had a friend that said he sings the smurf song to get rid of the unwanted tunes...you know...la la lalalala la lala la la. He said it was like Teflon, it didn’t stick. It worked. However since then I’ve tried another song.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word.

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know thus saith the Lord.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more.

This song has been such a great comfort and reminder for me. It reminds me to fill my head with His truth, and to believe it. To live like I believe it. Not just sing it in my head, but to walk it out loud. Does my life prove His faithfulness to others? Am I giving Him the credit for all that is due? Why don’t I trust Him more? Why don’t I trust Him first instead of calling a friend or ignoring my problem and watching TV or reading a book?

We also sing the song that says “He is jealous for me”. In my Beth Moore Breaking Free homework is says that “Godly jealousy is to be jealous for someone for her highest good”. Let’s listen to what we are singing, and see if it is true to our lives, or just words. If He is for my highest good, and if He is a God who keeps his promises, than it truly is sweet to trust in Jesus.

National Coffee Day

I'm not back on caffeine because I'm still breastfeeding, but I like my coffee for the taste. I like it black. Oh yes. I also enjoy a good latte or mocha or other flavored fun treat, but in the morning...black.

In honor of National Coffee Day, enjoy yourself a cup of joe and if at all possible go fair trade. There are so many options out there and it's another way to do our tiny parts that will add up to something big.

Ways to give and get your coffee too!

Land of a Thousand Hills

Equal Exchange

Delicious Peace

Fair Trad Coffee Co.

Keurig

Gratefulness

I keep telling myself to get on here before Monday comes around....but alas, here we are.

21. Rainy days that mean hubby stays home!
22. Libraries
23. Babies that sleep all night.
24. Church family
25. Humbling moments

Gratefulness

9. School buses

10. Beth Moore

11. Fall Weather that is still warm enough for shorts and short sleeves and bare feet

12. Health

13. Old saints rejoicing in heaven (RIP Elizabeth Frye)

14. Upcoming family camping night

15. Days w/ nothing to do (haven't had one in a while)

16. My sewing machine.

17. People who adopt.

18. Sunday school teachers and nusery workers

19. God's gentle guidance

20. Fulfilled scripture

Gratefulness

Let us not lost heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9

As things have just been more challenging on the mom front lately I have been clinging to this verse. I have been reminded that I am not perfect. Sometimes I forget that. I never actually think or say that I am, but I forget that I'm not.

I also keep neglecting this blog. But does anyone read it? I know, I know, that's not the point, but dad gummet I'm feeling needy so comment already! Yes, I'm whining. But to compensate for the neediness and whining I'm going to start my expression of gratefulness. Though I only have time for a few, need to get on dinner. To find out more about it click HERE. (thanks Deanna for introducing me to this.)

1. My God

2. That He keeps His promise and has held onto me at all times, especially when I have days/weeks as of late.

3. My husband...for the same reasons.

4. My children for learning along with me.

5. That my fourth child is the easiest baby in the world.

6. The BEAutiful weather

7. Friends who call at the right time.

8. Blue skies.

moms

Refinement

I’ve been reading a book called Sacred Parenting, by Gary Thomas. The book talks about how God uses our children to shape our souls draw us near to Him, or in other words, He uses them to refine us. Being a mother of four little ones, this book fits right in to my season of life. It has had me thinking that everything we face in life could be looked at with that point of view.

When the Bible speaks of refinement it is usually in reference to fire or heat. (Perhaps the rest of you have had heat on your mind this week too?) The Merriam Webster dictionary defines it as:

1: to free (as metal, sugar, or oil) from impurities or unwanted material
2: to free from moral imperfection
3: to improve or perfect by pruning or polishing
4: to reduce in vigor or intensity
5: to free from what is coarse, vulgar, or uncouth

I love how even though the refining process is usually not a comfortable one, the word “free” is part of the result. Free from impurities, from what is vulgar, from imperfections. God cannot be associated with sin. Yet He still takes us as sinners and refines us to perfection so we can spend eternity with Him. How I long for that day when I will be in paradise with Him and completely free of anything that has hindered me on this earth in my flesh. But until then I hope to look at each situation in my life as a way to be drawn closer to my Lord. Ask your self this week...what is God using to refine me? ...children, job, relationships, financial struggles, etc. And after we ask that we can take comfort in the promise that He is using it for our good and His Glory.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Romans 8:28

HE LIVES!

I serve a risen Saviour,
He's in the world today;
I know that He is living,
Whatever men may say;
I see His hand of mercy,
I hear His voice of cheer,
And just the time I need Him
He's always near.

He lives, He lives, Christ Jesus lives
today!
He walks with me and He talks with me
Along life's narrow way.
He lives, He live, salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives:
He lives within my heart.

In all the world around me
I see His loving care,
And tho my heart grows weary
I never will despair;
I know that He is leading
Thro' all the stormy blast,
The day of His appearing
Will come at last.

Rejoice, rejoice, O Christian,
Lift up your voice and sing
Eternal hallelujahs
To Jesus Christ the King!
The hope of all who seek Him,
The help of all who find,
None other is so loving,
So good and kind.

letting go of the pb eggs

I've received 3 Easter cards. All from people on my side of the family. I don't' send Easter cards. I don't send any card except for birthdays and Christmas. However, Easter is the biggest deal. Without Easter all the other holidays wouldn't really matter. So why don't we send cards at Easter? I have been trying to do more with my children each year as they grow and learn. They know that Easter is about Jesus and not chocolate and eggs and bunnies or those awful peeps. (sorry to you peep lovers out there, but ick) My daughter told me that she told a girl on her bus about Easter and Jesus because the girl "didn't know about it." This makes me feel warm and fuzzy. That is probably the best way to celebrate Easter, telling others what it's really about. I'm thankful my 6 year old reminded me of this. I need to be challenged with the following question: if there were no more peanut butter eggs (my fave) at Easter, would I really be okay with that? I think so. I know so.

George Muller

To start I want to say that sometimes I don't know why I keep this blog. I started it as a way to keep myself journaling, an outlet for writing and honesty. But when I think of something to write or share I'm not here at my computer and when I do get here it's gone. Then there are times I just don't want to be vulnerable, or I wonder if there is a point since I don't know who/if anyone is reading this, but then should it matter if anyone is reading it and then if someone is reading I can let that dictate my thoughts and then nothing is posted for months and this blog ends up on the floor lying in a fetal position. How's that for a run on sentence?


Anywhootie, that had nothing to do with George Muller. The rest of what I share will. I just finished reading his autobiography. What faith that man had. Reading his accounts of prayer and God's faithfulness to Muller's ministry has challenged the way I think about God and more specifically prayer. Muller prayed in a way where he expected God to answer. If they needed money for bills or food, etc. he didn't pray and wonder if God would provide. He would only wonder when. He was willing to live on the edge if that meant that God could be glorified through it. He saw that kingdom work as most important in life and he lived that way. I was going to quote some favorite passages but looking back I realized I would end up copying the entire book. Go read it for yourself. I dare you to not be changed.





Another book to rock your world (read this fall/winter) ........ Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. Read it. Now.

another way to put yourself in a box

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tries to figure you out and box in the wonderfully diverse personality God gave you. One of the things I love to do is figure people out and put them in a box. Okay, I'm not really a "boxer" per say, but I do love learning about those I love and what makes them tick and tock.

So personality quizzes are really awful for what I just talked about but at the same time I'm a sucker for them. So if you have always wondered what your color personality is then it's your lucky day! Go Here to find out.

I thought my result was unexpected...at least the actual color.

Black is your color.

Nothing can stand between you and your demand for a calm environment. To be free of conflict and disagreement is the only way to live. In fact, it’s this philosophy that probably allows you to be comfortable in conditions that would normally bother others. Your ability to focus is undisputed, and while you enjoy attention, you still have problems understanding how to handle it. No other color out lives by the golden rule as much as you do.

What was your result?

Bible in 90days (ish)

Yes, I needed to add the "ish" as I'm a bit behind. I'm okay with that. I just started Psalms today. Here's a general bit of what I've learned throughout the my reading thus far (my order might be off):

• God means what He says, obey Him (Genesis)


• Anyone can forgive anything (account of Joseph)


• I'm so thankful for grace!!! (Leviticus and all the other law books)


• Idols are BAD (Kings and Chronicles)


• If the Lord is in it, it WILL happen (Ezra, Nehemiah)


• Don't let fear rule your heart, stand up for the Lord, no matter what may happen (Esther)


• Suffering and persecution, one should consider it an honor to to do for the Lord, that He should choose us to be the one to be used to reveal Himself through us in such a way. Also, why He does things isn't our business.

I would like to finish this by Easter, but I would really like to read it and soak it in, not just skim...which I have definitely done :)

Simple Woman's Daybook

My Simple Woman’s Daybook For Today… January 9, 2009

Outside my window....sunshine that makes you feel warm to look at, but if you step out into it the cold wind steals your comfort.

I am thinking… of many many things.

I am thankful for… God's faithfulness, my hubs.

From the kitchen…breakfast was whole wheat banana & chocolate waffles, the rest of the day is undecided at this point.

From the learning rooms…how committed am I to the Lord? constant life lessons.

I am wearing… let's just say that it's laundry day.

I am reading… the Bible (in 90 days), Autobiography of George Mueller, Crazy Love by Francis Chan

I am hoping… for a short winter.

I am hearing… my daughter play cowgirl on a giraffe and youngest son play a toy piano.

I am creating… piles.

Around the house… must pick a project...how about the never ending bedroom?

One of my favorite things… listening to the kids Bible verses on Sunday am.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week… planning for the church movie night (Faith Like Potatoes)

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you…

looking forward

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth; will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. I never keep them. I always fall short and therefore feel like I’m setting myself up for failure. However, I do love fresh beginnings and the New Year is definitely a symbol of that. So instead of just a resolution for the new year, here’s one for life. I want to look forward to what God is going to do in all things. To praise Him in the hard times as well as the good because I know, according to His word, that He works it all together for good. I want to be excited to see how things turn out when at the present they may seem hopeless. I want to let go of my past sins the way He has and grasp on to the victory that Christ claimed on the cross and through his resurrection for me. I want to be teachable. I want to love more, and not just in the obvious ways. I want to love in the secret ways that bring me no praise from men.

I love this verse for many reasons. One is that I grew up in the desert. We’d often go out into the wilderness. From a distance it just looks barren, as if there are nothing but rocks. Yet when you walk through it you see the plants and signs of animal life. You ‘ll wander for a while and find an old pathway that leads through the mountains, and you know that someone else has been here. After a rain the washes run full of water and the ground is full of colorful flowers that have been dormant for years. It’s such a beautiful picture of how He can bring what appears dead to life. He really does make all things new. Let’s look forward together for those roadways in the wilderness and the rivers in the deserts.