Perspecitve

More Stuff Happening

My last bulletin cover:

It’s been one of those weeks. It’s been a week where God has broken through the lies I was listening to and reminding me to guard myself with His truth, His word. I was “winging” it and it wasn’t working. I was retreating to old patterns when I’ve been called to live in victory. So I turn to the Truth, the Word. I’m again blown away and by the faithfulness of my Heavenly Father. I am overwhelmed as He patiently loves me through my fickleness. Then Thursday I get two phone calls. One is that my cousin, who is a 38yr old father of three with adrenal carcinoma, is at home waiting for hospice to arrive and assist him in his last days. Then there is another call that our beloved PW (Pastor Wayne) is in the hospital struggling for his life. What? And yet because has been preparing me all week I have peace. Yes, my heart hurts, I am sad, I weep, but I have peace. These are two men that know our precious God and He knows them even more. I believe God is teaching me repeatedly about the comfort His sovereignty brings. On Wednesday there was a song that kept running through my head, a song that I know is dear to the hearts of the body of believers. I know that it was another way God was preparing me for the news I received Thursday. Let’s encourage each other to continue to trust the Almighty Omnipotent God, who has all things in His hands for the good of those who love him. And, oh, how we love Him.

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name



Update:
This was written last week, and Sunday morning I received the call that my
cousin Bill had passed away. Pray for his wife, kids, sibling, parents, all that
knew and loved him. I can't pretend that Bill and I were super close.
But these things I knew of him:

• He was very smart
• He was funny
• If I ever heard him complain (which was rare) he did it w/ a smile on his face or in a joking manner
• He loved his wife. I'm sure they weren't perfect but from my view I could tell they were a team. I never heard him put her down.
  
• He loved his kids. He would be excited about what they were doing and what he did with them, not afraid to boast about their accomplishments, or their character.
  
• I had no doubt that if I was ever in a pickle I could call him, He was loyal
• He was a great guy, loved by many.

Love you Bill. See you soon.

Stuff Happens

My most recent bulletin cover...

Sometimes stuff happens. Stuff that you never thought would happen to you, or your family. This stuff is hard, and complicated and it wears you out. You try to fix it, make it better, knock sense into people with your words. Nothing works because you are not God. Instead you become exhausted, drained, worn out. It was never yours to fix. You have to learn this the hard way of course. But, God is full of grace, always there, using every moment to bring healing in His own perfect way. He can be firm, but oh, so gentle, as He reminds us.....

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Matthew 11:28-30

The Message

Let’s take a nap in His lap today...shall we? In fact...I think I just might stay there.

Grateful In All

This was originally written for my church bulletin cover...

“Lion on a leash." That is what Ann Voskamp calls Satan in her book One Thousand Gifts. I first heard of her through her blog where I saw her list. Her ongoing list of things to be thankful for. So I started one too. Now and then I remember the list and I meditate on the little and the big things in my life that I can be thankful for and jot them down. I recently started reading her book and was reminded that a life fully lived is not just thankful in the moments of wiggly baby toes, morning grass adorned with dew drops, and ice cream cones. I thought I knew this. Yes...of course we are to be thankful in all things. God uses all things for our good (Romans 8:28), so no matter how hard it is we thank Him and bless His name just like the song says.
Yet when it happens, what do I do? Do I pout? Often I do. Don’t get me wrong. There are times when hard things have happened and I have felt the blanket of the Lord wrap around me and hold me while I mourned and He never gave me a chance to pout. Then there are times where something minor happens that throws me for a loop and I’m pouting and wondering “why me?” as if I should be living a life free of hurt. That wouldn’t be a full life though. Life in itself is full of so many different experiences and how we deal
with them is up to us. When the bad comes am I thankful that though Satan is a fierce lion, he is still on a leash? No matter how much he tries, he can only
roar and perhaps scratch me from time to time, but his leash keeps him from
devouring what belongs to Christ. Am I thankful for the chance to grow closer to and stronger in Jesus? Allow me to continue my list here, finding something to be thankful for in a few of the harder things....

81.
Entangled in someone’s gossip....reminds me to hold my own tongue

82.
Friend claims to no longer believe in God.....my own assurance of faith is challenged and now stronger than ever

83.
Miscarriage.....chance to experience the Love and comfort of Jesus in a new amazing way

84.
Death of family friend...... thankful for time w/ her, reminder that life here is but a breath

85.
Whining children...reminded that I must sound that way to God sometimes

86.
Situation not going my way.....chance to break free from selfishness

87.
Exhausted..... this means that I have a life blessed with good things and people to wear me out

88.
Never ending to do list.... opportunity to serve

89.
Lonely times....moments to just be with the Lord

90.
The unknown.... the adventure.

Grateful

61. kids who can pour their own cereal

62. school out for the summer

63. reminders that my life is cake (thus the list to keep me in check!)

64. baby toes

65. summer breeze

66. happy birds

67. chance meetings w/ old friends

68. simplifying

69. sharing hand me downs

70. cool summer mornings

71. sister reading to little brother

72. surviving yard sales

73. air conditioning (this might be a repeat)

74. libraries

75. blogging mamas

76. phone chats with dad

77. generous parents

78. daughter's curls

79. washing machine's

80. grace

Confessions...

...of a failed blogger. Seriously! How hard is it to get on here and bare your soul? I've tried different things to motivate me on here. Maintaining consistency is often my downfall. Usually my people pleasing nature trumps the previous mentioned flaw, but since I don't know if anyone really reads this my pleasing side has no motivation. Of course I need to acknowledge the four kids I am a mother to and all the other household/wifely duties and baring my soul falls down on the list. But I will NOT give up! I will still visit this place, try new 30 day "fill in the blank" challenges and continue my list of things I'm grateful for.

Soul exposures of the day....

1. Listened to a radio program today where a woman reminded me that in order to be more in tuned to the Spirit's discernment I need to walk so much closer with my Lord. I let this fall by the wayside to easily. I talk to Him on and off all the time, but I treat this relationship to casually. Time for a change.
2. She also reminded me that it's not about us loving God, but that He's crazy in love with us. So freeing as I know I fail in my expression of love to Him constantly. His love overflows all my gaps.

It's been way too long....

46. ­­The sun shining through my car windows, warming my face.

47. 60 + degree weather in February

48. Friends giving birth to healthy babies

49. Hearing of women pumping their own breast milk for the new baby of a friend with breast cancer

50. Little boys who yell “Merry Christmas!” at 6:30 am in February

51. The reminder of complete acceptance by God

52. Dark chocolate truffles

53. Books

54. The Internet for maintaining relationships with my dear ones

55. Zumba!

56. God’s timing

57. My man and I being on the same page

58. Tiny greens peeking through the dirt...signs of spring!

59. Coffee

60. Flip Flops

Happy New Year

I'm just going to say it. I love to be loved. My number one love language is people showering me with kind words, telling me how great they think I am. It's how I'm made. I do believe this and have mostly come to accept it. But then someone shares a link on facebook to this post by Donald Miller and I say "ouch". I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I usually have a general hope for the year like losing weight or reading my Bible more, etc. Instead I try to focus on some area where I really feel God challenging me to grow. Past examples would be embracing the journey/process of life, learning to trust God in all things, and living in humility. I do not have any of these down pat, but I feel like I've come to a place where I can remember them and apply during or quite often after a situation presents itself. Either way I am constantly reminded that I am a work in progress, ever learning and growing under the care of my savior who loves me. But then I read that and wonder what to do with it. I suppose it goes filed under my humility lesson? Or perhaps a new file that says "God is my source of Love". This year I'm adding that to the list of growth focus. I want to learn to feel satisfied in God's love and forgiveness instead of seeking the approval and praise of man. To be able to praise Him for all things as He is sovereign, to have a Christ filled perspective, a truly eternal mindset. Here's to it.

Room for more....

I was looking at some pictures I took of the kids when trying to get that prefect Christmas card. When I looked at one of the pictures I thought,"someone is missing." What? I have four kids. I do not want to be pregnant again. But for some reason the picture didn't look full enough for me. There could easily be a logical explanation for this. My kids have lots of cousins and perhaps I was mentally comparing my little group shot to a group shot of them and their cousins. Or perhaps in my need to clutter up everything I thought there was too much space around them and the frame simply needed to be zoomed in closer. Then I thought that I might be reminded that there is a baby that will never be there due to the miscarriage that I had in April 2009. Perhaps, it's another way that the Lord is showing me that there is always room for one more as he keeps tapping my heart door open to the possibility of adoption. I think that's it. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It also scares the badoozles out of me. The idea of having another child to take care of and another heart to train overwhelms me. Fear of failure, selfishness, learning to trust God in all things; these are just some of the reasons that I struggle with this. But then you see things like this. Hear stories like this or this and wonder how you cannot be a part of something so close to God's heart. I don't know. I don't know. I went bungee jumping once and I started to freak out inside as I went up on the platform that rose until it was time to leap. I was freaking out and yet I wanted it so bad. I did it and it was the most amazing feeling to free fall and soar through the air the whole while knowing that I was secured to something and not going to get hurt. I've been told and experienced that there is nothing so great as knowing you are where God wants you to be. I feel like adoption or foster care or something along those lines is a bungee jump that freaks me out, but I know the result could be amazing if it's what He has for us. We shall see, but He already knows.

*not me in the photo

Grateful

32. Health

33. Going to CA in 17 days

34. Hubby helping out extra without me asking

35. Encouraging notes

36. My daughter let me nap with her blanket yesterday

37. Soft heads on babies

38. Money to do some Christmas shopping

39. Sunshine (this may appear on my list more than once!)

40. Honesty

41. Free turkey

42. My kid's amazing teachers

43. Able to breastfeed (even though it hurts like the dickens right now!)

44. Abundance

45. My SIL's

Grateful

I feel kind of sad that it's been so long since I've done this...but of course this blog is used to being neglected. I've been thinking about my casual complaints. You know the complaints about everyday annoyances that in the grand scheme of life really aren't that bad. However, the antitheses of the source of my annoyance would be awful...does that make sense? I'll start my thankfulness list and you'll see what I mean....

- I HATE it when I lose pressure while taking a shower or the water goes cold
26. Running water
-I wish my stomach fat would magically disappear
27. Food in my tummy
-My 6month old's teeth are not so cute when he's nursing
28. a healthy, growing, beautiful little boy
-We only have one toilet for this family of 6
29. a flushing toilet
- The paint peels off the walls of this ancient house, and no matter how much you clean, it will never look fresh and clean
30. a sturdy home to protect us from the cold
-Sometimes I just want to stay home on Sunday and snuggle on the couch
31. a country where I am free to worship Who and how I choose.

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

By Maya Angelo

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'' I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!'

Dare you to watch this.

Overcome

Honestly, when I first saw this video that my friend sent me I was mostly excited about the Lite Brite. I LOVED my Lite Brite. I thought the video was extremely creative, I appreciate stop motion animation, etc. But that was it. Then someone else asked me what the big deal was and I listened to/watched it again.....and again and again. I love that He has overcome anything that I feel overcome by. Small or large, petty or or serious trial, Jesus has already overcome it and then I am overcome with His victory, His love.

Watch again and read the words.

Send me a sign
A hint, a whisper
Throw me a line
'Cause I am listening
Come break the quiet
Breathe your awakening
Bring me to life
'Cause I am fading

(surround me)
The rush of angels' wings

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

You sent a sign
A hint, a whisper
Human divine
Heaven is listening
Death laid love quiet
Yet in the night a stirring

(all around )
The rush of angels

Shine your light so I can see you
Pull me up I need to be near you
Hold me I need to feel love
Can you overcome this heart that's overcome

Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Come for us
Oh the wonder of
The greatest love
Has come

Shine your light so all can see it
Lift it up cause the whole world needs it
Love's come down what joy to hear it
He has overcome
He has overcome

thanks suz!

*if 1/3 or so of the video screen is cut off go here to watch

I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets an unwanted song in their head. Lately there have been a couple of radio hits that have clung to my brain and the chorus will repeat itself over and over again. Grrrr. These aren’t songs that I like or listen to, but all it takes is one little reminder of it and BAM, it’s stuck there. Once I had a friend that said he sings the smurf song to get rid of the unwanted tunes...you know...la la lalalala la lala la la. He said it was like Teflon, it didn’t stick. It worked. However since then I’ve tried another song.

Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus

Just to take Him at His word.

Just to rest upon His promise,

And to know thus saith the Lord.

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him

How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus

Oh for grace to trust Him more.

This song has been such a great comfort and reminder for me. It reminds me to fill my head with His truth, and to believe it. To live like I believe it. Not just sing it in my head, but to walk it out loud. Does my life prove His faithfulness to others? Am I giving Him the credit for all that is due? Why don’t I trust Him more? Why don’t I trust Him first instead of calling a friend or ignoring my problem and watching TV or reading a book?

We also sing the song that says “He is jealous for me”. In my Beth Moore Breaking Free homework is says that “Godly jealousy is to be jealous for someone for her highest good”. Let’s listen to what we are singing, and see if it is true to our lives, or just words. If He is for my highest good, and if He is a God who keeps his promises, than it truly is sweet to trust in Jesus.

National Coffee Day

I'm not back on caffeine because I'm still breastfeeding, but I like my coffee for the taste. I like it black. Oh yes. I also enjoy a good latte or mocha or other flavored fun treat, but in the morning...black.

In honor of National Coffee Day, enjoy yourself a cup of joe and if at all possible go fair trade. There are so many options out there and it's another way to do our tiny parts that will add up to something big.

Ways to give and get your coffee too!

Land of a Thousand Hills

Equal Exchange

Delicious Peace

Fair Trad Coffee Co.

Keurig

Gratefulness

I keep telling myself to get on here before Monday comes around....but alas, here we are.

21. Rainy days that mean hubby stays home!
22. Libraries
23. Babies that sleep all night.
24. Church family
25. Humbling moments

Gratefulness

9. School buses

10. Beth Moore

11. Fall Weather that is still warm enough for shorts and short sleeves and bare feet

12. Health

13. Old saints rejoicing in heaven (RIP Elizabeth Frye)

14. Upcoming family camping night

15. Days w/ nothing to do (haven't had one in a while)

16. My sewing machine.

17. People who adopt.

18. Sunday school teachers and nusery workers

19. God's gentle guidance

20. Fulfilled scripture

Gratefulness

Let us not lost heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Galatians 6:9

As things have just been more challenging on the mom front lately I have been clinging to this verse. I have been reminded that I am not perfect. Sometimes I forget that. I never actually think or say that I am, but I forget that I'm not.

I also keep neglecting this blog. But does anyone read it? I know, I know, that's not the point, but dad gummet I'm feeling needy so comment already! Yes, I'm whining. But to compensate for the neediness and whining I'm going to start my expression of gratefulness. Though I only have time for a few, need to get on dinner. To find out more about it click HERE. (thanks Deanna for introducing me to this.)

1. My God

2. That He keeps His promise and has held onto me at all times, especially when I have days/weeks as of late.

3. My husband...for the same reasons.

4. My children for learning along with me.

5. That my fourth child is the easiest baby in the world.

6. The BEAutiful weather

7. Friends who call at the right time.

8. Blue skies.

moms