It's been way too long....

46. ­­The sun shining through my car windows, warming my face.

47. 60 + degree weather in February

48. Friends giving birth to healthy babies

49. Hearing of women pumping their own breast milk for the new baby of a friend with breast cancer

50. Little boys who yell “Merry Christmas!” at 6:30 am in February

51. The reminder of complete acceptance by God

52. Dark chocolate truffles

53. Books

54. The Internet for maintaining relationships with my dear ones

55. Zumba!

56. God’s timing

57. My man and I being on the same page

58. Tiny greens peeking through the dirt...signs of spring!

59. Coffee

60. Flip Flops

Happy New Year

I'm just going to say it. I love to be loved. My number one love language is people showering me with kind words, telling me how great they think I am. It's how I'm made. I do believe this and have mostly come to accept it. But then someone shares a link on facebook to this post by Donald Miller and I say "ouch". I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. I usually have a general hope for the year like losing weight or reading my Bible more, etc. Instead I try to focus on some area where I really feel God challenging me to grow. Past examples would be embracing the journey/process of life, learning to trust God in all things, and living in humility. I do not have any of these down pat, but I feel like I've come to a place where I can remember them and apply during or quite often after a situation presents itself. Either way I am constantly reminded that I am a work in progress, ever learning and growing under the care of my savior who loves me. But then I read that and wonder what to do with it. I suppose it goes filed under my humility lesson? Or perhaps a new file that says "God is my source of Love". This year I'm adding that to the list of growth focus. I want to learn to feel satisfied in God's love and forgiveness instead of seeking the approval and praise of man. To be able to praise Him for all things as He is sovereign, to have a Christ filled perspective, a truly eternal mindset. Here's to it.

Room for more....

I was looking at some pictures I took of the kids when trying to get that prefect Christmas card. When I looked at one of the pictures I thought,"someone is missing." What? I have four kids. I do not want to be pregnant again. But for some reason the picture didn't look full enough for me. There could easily be a logical explanation for this. My kids have lots of cousins and perhaps I was mentally comparing my little group shot to a group shot of them and their cousins. Or perhaps in my need to clutter up everything I thought there was too much space around them and the frame simply needed to be zoomed in closer. Then I thought that I might be reminded that there is a baby that will never be there due to the miscarriage that I had in April 2009. Perhaps, it's another way that the Lord is showing me that there is always room for one more as he keeps tapping my heart door open to the possibility of adoption. I think that's it. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It also scares the badoozles out of me. The idea of having another child to take care of and another heart to train overwhelms me. Fear of failure, selfishness, learning to trust God in all things; these are just some of the reasons that I struggle with this. But then you see things like this. Hear stories like this or this and wonder how you cannot be a part of something so close to God's heart. I don't know. I don't know. I went bungee jumping once and I started to freak out inside as I went up on the platform that rose until it was time to leap. I was freaking out and yet I wanted it so bad. I did it and it was the most amazing feeling to free fall and soar through the air the whole while knowing that I was secured to something and not going to get hurt. I've been told and experienced that there is nothing so great as knowing you are where God wants you to be. I feel like adoption or foster care or something along those lines is a bungee jump that freaks me out, but I know the result could be amazing if it's what He has for us. We shall see, but He already knows.

*not me in the photo

Grateful

32. Health

33. Going to CA in 17 days

34. Hubby helping out extra without me asking

35. Encouraging notes

36. My daughter let me nap with her blanket yesterday

37. Soft heads on babies

38. Money to do some Christmas shopping

39. Sunshine (this may appear on my list more than once!)

40. Honesty

41. Free turkey

42. My kid's amazing teachers

43. Able to breastfeed (even though it hurts like the dickens right now!)

44. Abundance

45. My SIL's

Grateful

I feel kind of sad that it's been so long since I've done this...but of course this blog is used to being neglected. I've been thinking about my casual complaints. You know the complaints about everyday annoyances that in the grand scheme of life really aren't that bad. However, the antitheses of the source of my annoyance would be awful...does that make sense? I'll start my thankfulness list and you'll see what I mean....

- I HATE it when I lose pressure while taking a shower or the water goes cold
26. Running water
-I wish my stomach fat would magically disappear
27. Food in my tummy
-My 6month old's teeth are not so cute when he's nursing
28. a healthy, growing, beautiful little boy
-We only have one toilet for this family of 6
29. a flushing toilet
- The paint peels off the walls of this ancient house, and no matter how much you clean, it will never look fresh and clean
30. a sturdy home to protect us from the cold
-Sometimes I just want to stay home on Sunday and snuggle on the couch
31. a country where I am free to worship Who and how I choose.

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER

By Maya Angelo

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin'' I'm whispering 'I was lost, Now I'm found and forgiven.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on. When I say.. 'I am a Christian' I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I still feel the sting of pain..

I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say... 'I am a Christian' I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner Who received God's good grace, somehow!'

Dare you to watch this.