It's not about me....in case you were wondering.

It's late and I need to go to bed. I've been slipping in and out of my insecurities lately and it's bugging the you know what out of me. I'll be in such a good place and then before you know it I remember that I'm fatter than ever and start taking everything personally. I nag my poor husband and if he answers me with any edge in his voice I am in tears. Perhaps it's woman stuff. Perhaps not. Anyway, while I'm still feeling crappy about myself I hear about something stupid that someone else has done. I can't wait to tell my poor husband and start to feel superior again! And then I get hit with reality. It's happened before. A dear friend in a bad place or dealing with something heavier than I could imagine and all I can think of is hitting my knees for them and of course to thank God for His patience and His forgiveness of one who is can be so petty. Today I get news of a dear one who has some heavy, scary stuff going on in her family. My weight, whether people like me, if I'm being a better parent than others...all nothing. There are people hurting on so many levels in this world, and they need to see that Jesus is real in their lives. I'm tired of this cycle, but I'm hoping that each round of it is one step closer to home.