Buried

Me: "I'm asking you as a husband. What do you think? Because I don't want to."

Husband: "Then I think you should."

He was right. When the pastor mentioned a few weeks ago that there was going to be a baptism service, I immediately felt a weight fall upon me. When he said that if this was something that we were ready to follow the Lord in, and that we should come see him, I felt almost a burning swell up within me.

I can't remember a time where God wasn't a part of my life. I can remember praying and making a decision by a gold couch in my old room. Though my dad remembers an earlier prayer with him. In fourth grade I went forward in church to make a public profession of faith and later talked with our interim pastor. Baptism came up in the conversation, but soon after our church hired a full time pastor and it didn't come up again.

I honestly didn't think of it tons after that. It didn't bother me. I had been baptized with the Holy Spirit at conversion and water baptism is not a requirement for salvation, so it was no big deal. Then when as I matured, opportunities arose and I let them pass by. (One opportunity being the chance to be immersed in a lake in the Rocky Mountains...still trying to forgive myself for this, sigh.) There were times I even wore it as a banner for the cause "saved by grace, no works required." This being true, we are saved by grace, we are still called to obey in order to have a full, deep and intimate relationship with the One who has saved us.

Needless to say, the Lord has been persistent in pursuing me. After the earlier mentioned conversation with my husband I went talk to our pastor and could barely get the words out. The hardest part of this whole experience was to be willing to humble myself before people I know and many I don't know. To be able to say to everyone, that I want to follow Jesus and after 25ish years of doing so, I am stilling learning, still seeking, and I have not figured everything out. I think I do this in small ways or with close friends who know me well. However, if I'm honest I'd rather not have people thinking that I can be clueless on various points of life including an array of spiritual matters.

When I was there, it was easy. I thought it would be hard, but it wasn't. There was a passing moment of emotion and near tears when we sang Amazing Grace. I was moved as the pastor read from Romans. And that was it. I was just happy and peaceful. It was the right thing to do. As it is always right to obey our Lord.

Thank you to all who supported me from near and far, if you only knew how much that meant to me, and how much I love you.

I am thankful that I was be able to share this with my children and my man. Don't I look happy?

*first photo of cross by my son J

*all other photos by Tina, who would probably like me to say that she doesn't think they are that great, but like them!